Rant #754: A Close Shave?

I am one of those people who really should shave each and every day, maybe twice a day, to keep my beard off my face.

I don't shave so often, but even after shaving, it doesn't take long for me to feel the hair pop up on my face again.

I also have sensitive skin, so a blade is pretty much out. I used one when I was younger, but it ripped up my face so much that I decided to go with an electric shaver, and for pretty much the past 40 years, that is what I've used when I shave.

As happens every few years, I need a new razor, so I went to the store to get one (not the one shown). After paying about $40 for one, getting it home, and preparing to use it, I found that one part of the razor--which had been standard for years--isn't anymore.

The sideburn trimmer on the back of the electric razor is gone. I didn't even realize this until I started to shave, and tried to pop it up from the back when I was ready to cut by sideburns.

The companies that make these types of razors are pushing trimmers now, smaller electric razors that are more maneuverable on your face.

By using a trimmer, not only can you easily trim your sideburns, you can do the same for your mustache and your beard. And, in this day and age of real vanity, I guess men can use these trimmers to trim hair on other parts of their bodies too.

But again, getting a trimmer is another expense, and after spending what I did for the least expensive razor  I could find, I now see that at least on this razor, the trimmer has been relegated to an extra that doesn't come with these models.

I mean, it really isn't a big deal--I used the regular razor to trim my sideburns. But it's almost akin to a new car not coming with a side-view mirror. You can drive the car, but it sure makes it easier to have one.

The same thing with the trimmer.

I almost believe that this is one of the those things that is happening to things we took for granted, with companies trying to push up sales of certain items over others.

Have you been to the dentist lately? In the old days, you had a cavity, it was taken care of, and that was the end of that.

Today, each tooth has four sides, and cavities--and prices--are taken care of that way. Thus, if you have a cavity that infiltrates more than one side, your price escalates.

Airline passengers are being told that if they want a window or an aisle seat, they have to pay extra, and, of course, the extra charge for baggage has been going on for years now.

In the supermarket, we can still get our favorite grocery items, but they have all been downsized. Have you seen a Yodel lately? They are like half the size that they used to be.

So the consumer is getting hit on every side. We have to take it because that is the way it is, and as consumers, we really don't have much of a comeback.

So here I am, with an electric razor without a sideburn trimmer, something that was standard for years and years. And by the way, this razor comes from a major manufacturer of these things, not some non-brand that you've never heard of.

It's not a total loss. The rest of the razor works just fine, so I will learn to live without this device.

But it just goes to show you the extent that manufacturers are going to to cut corners in hopes of boosting their bottom line.

Sad, real sad.

Rant #753: Birthdays, We've Got More Birthdays

And you thought that yesterday's Rant about the birthdays of Tom Jones and Ken Osmond would be the last of them for this week, didn't you?

Well, let's add three more to the list.

Comedians Jerry Stiller and Joan Rivers celebrate birthdays today. Stiller is 85, and Rivers is 79.

And let's not forget that today is also the birthday of singer Nancy Sinatra, who turns 72.

Stiller is a comic for the ages. He has redirected himself so many times, but he continues to be one of the funniest comics on television to this day.

I first was introduced to Stiller through his comic partnership with his wife, Ann Meara.

As part of the Stiller and Meara comedy team, the two helped to redefine comedy in the 1960s. Their real-life stories--him, a Jewish guy from the Lower East Side, she of Irish personage--brought comedy to another level. Most of their comedy played off the differences between the two--including that he is a short guy and she is kind of tall--but the love they felt for each other was demonstrated every time they performed.

Their magic was most widely seen on "The Ed Sullivan Show," and their comedy was universal.

Stiller went on to star on the stage, in movies, and most prominently, on TV, in shows such as "Seinfeld" and "The King of Queens."

And he is as active today as he was 50 years ago.

The same thing can be said for Joan Rivers. Don't go by her public persona today.

Rivers is actually one of the funniest comics that there ever was or ever will be.

She also honed her craft on "The Ed Sullivan Show" way back when. She, along with Totie Fields, Phyllis Diller and others, brought female comedy to new heights.

Most of her comedy revolved around her family, and specifically, her husband Edgar. All the trials and travails of being a Jewish American Princess were brought out in the open by Rivers, and at that time, that personage was not necessarily the negative that it is today.

She was what she was, and she let us have it. And we laughed and laughed and laughed some more.

She changed after her husband's suicide. Although she, like Stiller, has transformed with the times, today, Rivers is nothing but a parody of herself. She is nasty, snide, and has had as many surgical procedures as Michael Jackson had during his lifetime.

But when she just tries to be funny, withoiut the guile, she can still be very, very funny.

Now onto another person who helped define another time, Nancy Sinatra.

Sure, Sinatra was daddy's girl, but she managed to carve out quite a career for herself as an actress, and most notably, as a singer, during the Swinging 1960s.

"These Boots Are Made For Walking" stands as perhaps one of the first women's rights song, and she had all the razzle and dazzle to carry quite a list of hit songs during her career, including "Sugar Town" and "You Only Live Twice."

And her duets with Lee Hazlewood are legendary, too.

And although she was daddy's girl, she had her own career to pursue, and she pursued it with a lot of glamor, bikinis, and incredible sex appeal--with and without her boots on.

Yes, she posed for Playboy, and it was that incredible figure that she had that carried her there, too.

She continues to record every once in a while, but that look that she had in the 1960s helped to define the era.

Stiller, Rivers and Sinatra share one thing: staying power. It's as if their careers began 50 years ago and they have never gone away.

And that's good, real good, because these people are very, very talented, and they know how to entertain.

They are entertainers, entertainers for the ages.

Speak to you next week.

Rant #752: "It's Not Unusual," Eddie

Two people who have enlivened Baby Boomers' lives are celebrating birthdays today, and my, how the time has flown.

Today, singer Tom Jones is 72 and actor Ken Osmond is 69.

Jones is the rugged-looking Welsh performer who first came onto the American scene in the mid-1960s with hits like "What's New Pussycat," "It's Not Unusual" and "Thunderball."

His very presence turned many women into virtual wrecks, throwing their undergarments on stage to try to dazzle him.

His sex symbol phase continued with his weekly show, "Tom Jones," where he sung and shook like no one, except perhaps Elvis Presley.

The hits continued into the 1970s, including "Daughter of Darkness" and "She's a Lady," and while he is pretty much thought of as little more than an oldies performer now, making a good living in Las Vegas, he continues to record new material in Europe, where he and Cliff Richard are pretty much the standard bearers for old school rock and pop.

He recently came out with a new album mixing rock, pop and religion, and he actively promotes that album in Europe, where his icon status has never wavered.

No, he doesn't wear those tight pants anymore, but yes, the women--and many men--still get into his music.

Osmond may be a somewhat lesser name, but he was the first bad boy on TV, predating all the younger villains that followed him.

But he really wasn't all that bad, was he?

As Eddie Haskell on "Leave It To Beaver," Haskell was the devil to Beaver and Wally's angels. He was the guy who said "do it," and that's where the trouble usually began.

He was a slinky looking kid, a boaster who talked more than he carried out what he wanted everyone else to to. He hooked up with Wally because Wally was better looking, a better athlete, and got all the girls. Eddie wasn't any of these, but his hookup with Wally made him almost feel that he was Wally's equal.

And in the Beav, he had a younger foil to do his dastardly deeds with.

And, of course, Ward and June Cleaver rolled their eyes whenever Haskell gave them a compliment. They saw through him, and knew he was sucking up to them big time.

That portrayal was right on, but Osmond had much more to do in life than just act.

When that pretty much dried up, Osmond became a real life Los Angeles police officer. He was shot on the job, and left the police force in the 1980s.

He also fought, and lost, a fight against late porn king John Holmes, who ads claimed was actually Eddie Haskell. Believe it or not, the judgment ruled against Osmond, because, at least in part, Holmes did not make the claims himself, although he never denied them.

Go figure.

There was also a rumor that Osmond, as an adult, morphed into Alice Cooper, but that was nothing more than an urban legend.

Osmond is in real estate now, and returns to acting on occasion.

But anyway, happy birthday to Jones and Osmond. They have added to our lives and will always be remembered by the Baby Boomers as icons of our clan.

Rant #751: Happy Anniversary

Since probably none of you know about this, today is a very special day in my life.

Today is my 19th wedding anniversary, so I am going to wish myself, and my wife, a happy anniversary.

Nineteen years ... my, the years have gone very quickly indeed.

Nineteen years ago, I was 36 years old. With one bad marriage under my belt, I was ready to take the plunge again, searching for the happiness that I did not have in my first union.

But I wouldn't do it with just anybody. The girl had to be bright and beautiful from head to toe.

And yes, I was damn lucky. I found that girl, and knew that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Things happen during your life, and once in a while, you get lucky.

And I got lucky with this woman.

No, not the way you think.

I was working as a real estate writer, my first marriage was done, and I thought it was time to start to date again.

I hooked up with a dating service (pre-Internet), and they fixed me up with some decent and nice girls who simply weren't my type.

Finally, they got it right with this one. No, I don't think I knew it from the onset, or maybe I did, but this girl was the one I had been searching for. She met all the criteria I had, and we proceeded to fall in love.

One thing led to another, and here it is, 19 years later, and things are as good as they have always been with us.

We have a son, which makes us something of a "nuclear" family with my daughter from my first marriage. It is kind of my daughter's doing that I actually started to date again, because when she was little, about four years old, I was playing with her one day in her room on one of my visitation days. We were having fun, and then it dawned on me, as I was playing with her, that it was time for me to date again. Yes, it happened just like that.

And I went out and did just that, and thank God I met the right girl almost from the get go.

Every day, I feel that I am the luckiest man in the world to have found this woman.

So happy anniversary to me, and to her, and even though she has the day off from work and I have to work today, it is still a happy day. Nothing will make it the reverse.

I love my wife, and I always will.

And like Ralph Kramden used to say to Alice on "The Honeymooners," "Baby, you're the greatest."

And yes, she really is.

Rant #750: Gunned Down

Today is the 44th anniversary of the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy.

It is hard to believe that so many years have passed, but they have.

1968 was a tough year.

The Martin Luther King assassination was followed by this senseless act.

Kennedy was running for President, and a lot of people thought that he would be a shoo-in for the job. He was making a speech in California, and Sirhan Sirhan came out of nowhere and shot him.

Sirhan was tackled by a number of people, including athletes Roosevelt Grier and Rafer Johnson, and due to these efforts, was apprehended immediately.

I still remember the picture of Kennedy on the cover of the New York Daily News. He was on the floor, and he was hurt, badly hurt.

The next morning, everyone brought their transistor radios to school, keeping an almost minute-by-minute watch on Kennedy's condition.

He succumbed, and we wondered where this world was going.

And we wondered about the Kennedy curse. Three Kennedy brothers gone, two by assassins' bullets.

To this day, Sirhan pleads his innocence. His latest ploy from a few years ago was that he was hypnotized into doing the shooting, and it was some sort of conspiracy.

He, like Charles Manson, will never leave a jail cell. Both will probably outlive us all, but they won't ever get out of prison. Their acts are simply too heinous to allow them back into the general population.

The Kennedy saga has continued on and on, with Ted having his own personal demons. He is gone now, too, of course, but the family has had numerous dealings with the dark side. Just a few weeks ago, and estranged Kennedy spouse hung herself.

It never ends.

On that day in 1968, like when his brother was assassinated, we lost a bit more of our innocence. The Summer of Love was just a memory, the Year of Assassinations wasn't even half over yet.

But we have survived, we have moved on, and the doldrums that were reached in 1968 gave way to 1969, the year of the moon walk, one of JFK's visions when he was President.

We can't ever forget the past, but we can move on and make the present and future better, and by and large, that is what we have done.

But we must never forget 1968. It was a year that should be engrained in our very beings.

And we must not forget RFK. There is no telling where we would be today if he hadn't left us so soon.

Rant #749: "Survey Says ... "

Funny how things work out.

I just finished a Rant about perpetual game show player Ruta Lee, when one of the all-time game show personalities passes away.

Richard Dawson, the amiable--and very kissy kissy--host of "Family Feud," died on Saturday at age 79 from complications of espohageal cancer.

Although best known for hosting the long-running ABC daytime game show (1976-1985 during his tenure on the show), Dawson had a long career as a comedian, actor and game show guest prior to his hosting duties on Family Feud.

The British-born Dawson--whose father was American--was a presence on television years before he became something of a household name. He guested on numerous sitcoms in the early 1960s, including "The Dick Van Dyke Show," but a controversial show first put him in the limelight.

"Hogan's Heroes," about prisoners of war in a Nazi-run prisoner of war camp, wouldn't be anyone's guess for a sitcom, but when it was proposed in the early 1960s, Dawson went for the role of Col. Hogan, the leader of the troop of street-smart POWs. Dawson went out for the top role, disguising his British accent for an American one.

Legend has it that as the show was sharpened into what it finally became, the role of Col. Hogan was developed for an American, and Bob Crane, a West Coast disk jockey who had some acting credits as the neighbor of the Stone family on "The Donna Reed Show," was pegged for the part.

The producers felt that Dawson sounded too British--even with his American accent--to pull of the Hogan role.

Reports are that Dawson was somewhat devastated by this turn of events, but his consolation prize was the role of the smart Britisher Newkirk, the smart-alecky, pick-pocket, magician and jack of all trades. And he put on a strong, British accent for that role to accentuate the fact that Newkirk was British.

Although the role was a step down from that of the suave Col. Hogan, Dawson lasted the entire run of the show, which was a surprise hit for CBS from 1965-1971.

When the show went off the air, Dawson and another Hogan alumni, Larry Hovis, segued over to "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In," where they stayed for a short time as part of the cast of one of the top shows of its time.

Dawson continued to appear on TV when he left that show, and was an occasional guest on the revamped "Match Game," which began its saucy run with Gene Rayburn as its host during the early 1970s.

Dawson became so popular on the show that he became the most popular of the guest stars, and soon became a regular on the show.

But he itched for more, and asked the producers to create a game show around him.

And in 1976, "Family Feud" was created for him, a game show that used surveys to obtain answers about a variety of subjects. Contestants had to guess what the top answers were to win cash and prizes.

It was a simple show, and attracted an incredible following. It has been on the air in various incarnations to this day, but the glory years of the show was when Dawson was the host.

His British sense of humor was shown off the hilt on this show, and his reaction to some of the players' answers were legendary.

And he also became the most popular game show host perhaps of all-time during this period, winning an Emmy for his performance.

But what most people remember is his kissy-kissy attitude with the female contestants. He kissed, with a peck on the lips, thousands of women on the show, and while this turned off a lot of people, it endeared him to many more.

In fact, he met his second wife, who was a contestant on the show, and she went through the kissy-kissy routine like just about every female did on the show.

But behind the scenes, legend has it that Dawson was difficult, had a large ego, threatened to walk off the show several times, and finally called it a day in 1985.

He had kept something of a low profile since leaving the show. He married for a second time, had a child (along with children from his first marriage), and later became a grandfather. He also was a heavy smoker, which may have led to him getting, and finally succumbing to, cancer.

Reruns of classic "Family Feud" still can be seen on TV, along with the newer versions of the show.

Personally, although I watched "Family Feud" in its earliest incarnation during its first year or two, I will always remember Dawson from one of the favorite shows of my youth, "Hogan's Heroes." As probably the cleverest show of its time--it had to be with a premise like it had--Dawson fit into the show perfectly. He was a major part of the strong ensemble cast, and he played his role as the wily Englishman with a lot of aplomb.

I will miss Richard Dawson. He was one of TV's biggest stars from the mid-1960s through the mid-1980s, and he will forever live in rerun heaven.

R.I.P. Richard Dawson. You did really good.

"The answer is ... !"

Rant #748: Pepper Spray

Forty-five years ago today, the Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" album was released.

It captured the spirit of the time. With the heralded "Summer of 1967" just days away, this album was to the burgeoning youth culture what perhaps "War and Peace" was to that earlier culture.

When released, the album shot up the charts, and became the No. 1 album in the U.S. right away.

Cited as the first real concept album--the first use of the expanse of an LP as more of a story-telling device than simply a collection of songs and singles--the record has often been called the greatest LP of all time, being a sound shot of Paul, George, John and Ringo at their creative peaks.

Paul McCartney has often said that the album was the Beatles' response to the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds" LP, but "Sgt. Pepper" probably took the album concept one step further, melding pop, rock and psychedelics into a stew that no one could have predicted would have such an impact on music and culture.

But let's look at some other interesting facts revolving around that LP.

Yes, the LP came out in 1967, and the world was changing very rapidly then. Youth culture was starting to make its name known in society, and old was out, new was in--and that meant in everything, including music, fashion and even thinking.

The Beatles had come from seemingly nowhere to lead the youth brigade. The band that just three years earlier had chimed in with "She Loves You," "I Want To Hold Your Hand," and "A Hard Day's Night" had expanded itself musically--and probably chemically--during this period, and now was churning out tunes that were light years beyond those bouncy ditties.

"With a Little Help From My Friends," "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," and "A Day in the Life" were eons beyond their early work, and the album influenced countless musicians to expand their reach and many others to expand their thinking.

But who was the most popular band in the world at the time?

It wasn't the Beatles, and it still wasn't the Beatles after this LP came out.

The Monkees were the world's number one rock group at that time. With the benefit of a weekly TV show and their Beatles-inspired hijinks, personalities and music, the Pre-Fab Four were selling millions of records, propelled by their reason for creation: the corporate need to tap into the burgeoning youth culture of the day.

They had had several hit singles and two number one songs by that time, "Last Train to Clarksville" and "I'm a Believer," and everything with their name on it was turning to gold.

Their first two LPs, "The Monkees" and "More of the Monkees" had already topped the charts, and their third LP, "Headquarters," followed suit.

Although they were the same ages as most of the other hip musicians of the period--in their early 20s--Davy, Micky, Mike and Peter were thought to be unhip because they were created by a corporation to produce a corporate counterpart to the Beatles.

No, I don't think the kids really cared about this (I certainly didn't), but the fact of the matter is that in the age of "Flower Power," the Monkees--the corporate creation--were outselling both the Beatles and the Rolling Stones combined.

"Headquarters"--the LP where the Monkees took control of their own musical destinies, and probably their best album--sat at the top of the LP chart in May 1967. No singles were released off the LP in the U.S., perhaps an attempt to make the album hip in the eyes of those supposedly in the know.

"Sgt. Pepper" pretty much followed suit. No singles were released off this album, either.

And when this LP was released today in 1967, youth culture made its mark, as the LP succeeded the Monkees' LP as the top album on the chart.

So Flower Power bested corporate power in this instance, but the fact of the matter is that during the heralded Summer of 1967, where Flower Power was being felt throughout the world, the Monkees remained the top recording act in the world.

"Sgt. Pepper" spent 15 weeks at number one on the U.S. album charts, and it has often been cited as the greatest, most influential LP of the rock era. The songs work together as a pastiche of the times, and listening from beginning to end, the listener also gets wrapped up in the music, much like a reader gets entwined in the words of a novel.

"Headquarters" only spent that one week at the top of the charts. The Monkees would have several other big hit singles and LPs, but by early 1969, they were pretty much done.

The Beatles, of course, continued on, and their breakup in 1970 was seen by some as the real end of the 1960s.

In 2012, we are far removed from the Summer of 1967, the time of the height of Flower Power.

But "Sgt. Pepper" still marches on, the Beatles are still in our collective hearts, and yes, the Monkees are too.

Honestly, "Sgt. Pepper" is not my personal favorite Beatles LP. I always preferred their earlier, pre-Pepper music, but I especially enjoyed their non-album LP "Magical Mystery Tour," which really was the collection of a few singles augmented by a few previously unreleased tracks.

Released in England as an extended play disk, in America, it was released as a full album. The songs don't flow as they do on "Sgt. Pepper," and that is why I think I kind of like this LP.

To me, "Sgt. Pepper" was burdened by its importance, while "Magical Mystery Tour" moves to its own beat.

But I do like "Sgt. Pepper." It is a testament to a time when we, as part of the youth culture, thought everything was possible.

Just a few months later, we found out that that was kind of a naive thought--what with the murders of Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy kind of taking the wind out of our sails, and the Vietnam War raging on--but "Sgt. Pepper" at least helped to put that thought into our minds.

I give it credit for doing at least that. The other stuff that some people credit to that LP is a bit out there, but as a remnant of a different time, it has stood the test of time, and new generations are still discovering it as we speak ...

Even 45 years after the fact.

And the fact that more than four decades after it debuted, it is still being talked about, still being discussed, and still being discovered.

That, above everything else, is the real testament to its greatness, and yes, its importance.