Rant #634: Culture Vulture

I guess I am a culture vulture, looking for scenarios of interest that are interesting to me.

With the holiday season in full swing, there are usually lots of things to talk about around this time of year.

Here are a few of them.

The 31st Anniversary of the Death of John Lennon: This one kind of came and went. It happened yesterday, when I was talking about the new Three Stooges movie. I could have written about Lennon, but so much has been said about him, why add to it?

But it was 31 years ago that he was so senselessly murdered. I remember the night vividly; it is something I will never forget.

But 31 years--incredible! The time goes so, so fast.

Lindsay Lohan Poses For Playboy; Issue Cover Leaked: We move from a cultural icon of my youth to a cultural icon of today, the very pretty but completely vapid Lindsay Lohan.

If anyone needs to put a finger on how society has fallen since Lennon died, just look at jailbird Lohan, now posing in the bunny book.

If I have said it once, I will say it again: if she looked like Rosie O'Donnell, nobody would care about the nonsense surrounding this idiot. But she is gorgeous with a great body, the media loves her, and she poses in her nothings and gets $1 million for it. What do the Occupy Wall Street protesters have to say about this?

NBA Star Amare Stoudemire Teaches Kids Hebrew: New York Knicks basketball star Amare Stoudemire appeared on Shalom Sesame, Israel's equivalent of our Sesame Street, in a short segment teaching kids the meaning of the Hebrew word "tov," as in "mazel tov," a word which means "good" in English.

And it's good--of tov--for Stoudemire. He is black, and I only say that because it belies his origins. Since coming to the Knicks, in a town with a large Jewish population, he has been very proud to say that he has Jewish roots on his mother's side.

He didn't play this up when he played elsewhere, but, of course, he is going to play that up here.

Heck, I like him as a Knicks fan, and it really isn't important to me that he considers himself at least partially Jewish. But it is interesting, isn't it? Judaism takes on all different types of people, and I am happy to have Stoudemire as part of the flock.

Albert Pujols Signs With the Angels: I tried, I really tried, to make my son into a baseball player. He played Little League from ages 5-12, but that was it.

I am sure that Albert Pujols' parents are very proud that they put him in the direction of baseball, because this former St. Louis Cardinal is going to get a payday from the Los Angeles Angels that is mind boggling, to say the least. In the biggest surprise of Major League Baseball's winter meetings, the Angels signed free agent Pujols for something like $25 million a year, snaring him away from the World Series winning St. Louis Cardinals.

Well, my dad tried to make me into a baseball player too, but it just wasn't in the cards. Neither was it for Pujols with his former team.

I Get Attacked For My Letter to the Editor: What else is new? I write a Letter to the Editor of Newsday about the lack of Jewish representation on prime time network TV shows and the lack of Hanukkah programming on television, and both Jews and non-Jews attack me online and in the newspaper.

One person, in the newspaper, even called my letter "anti-Catholic," which was clearly not my intention. My letter was edited by the newspaper to make it more of a holiday letter, but people sure take things the wrong way, and they sure did it here.

If you want to read the letter they printed and all the backlash, go here: http://www.newsday.com/opinion/letters/letter-why-so-little-hanukkah-1.3362914.

I am done for the day. Speak to you next week ... if a pox has not been put on me by one of the responders who must think I am the anti-Christ. Do I look like the Anti-Christ in my Yankees regalia?

That's right. The Red Sox call the Yankees "The Evil Empire," so maybe there is something to this anti-Christ thing.

Maybe ... maybe not.

Rant #633: I'm Larry the Stooge

When I heard that the Farrelly brothers were going to do a reboot of the Three Stooges in a feature length film, I have to tell you, I cringed.

How can you remake comedy perfection? And why would you remake a film where, essentially, the actors would not only be portraying characters, but essentially, they would be aping Moe Howard, Curly Howard and Larry Fine?

Well, the trailer for this film--set to premier in April 2012--has just been released, and I have to say that at least over the course of the trailer, I am impressed.

The film, starring Sean Hayes (Larry), Will Sasso (Curly) and Chris Diamontopoulos (Moe), at least looks promising.

All the sight gags are there, all the slaps, pops and crackles are intact, the boys still have eyes for the ladies, and the breakneck pace of the trailer makes it look like a live action cartoon, which the Stooges' shorts were pretty much anyway.

The film will be kept at PG level though, because the filmmakers said that that was what the Stooges were, never venturing out of that territory, even though, of course, at the time of their heyday in the 1930s, 1940s, and early 1950s, there was no movie rating system.

And no, there are no apparent nods to Joe Besser or Curly Joe De Rita either. This is a plus, but nothing for Shemp Howard? He was an integral part of the Stooges story, and to completely omit him is a mistake.

Two other negatives, and they really aren't major negatives, in the film--it appears a lot of it takes place at a Catholic orphanage, so probably not only will some people be offended--there is one scene where one of the nuns wears a bathing suit that doesn't leave much to the imagination--but heck, the Stooges, less De Rita, were all Jewish in real life, and a lot of their schtick was related to that experience.

Second, and this is not a knock, although I guess it kind of is--every woman in this film, at least from the trailer, is built. And I mean really built, either naturally or by man-made means.

Yes, that means the Stooges will be sexed up, I guess to keep modern audiences interested. Of course, modern audiences have no tolerance for any actress that doesn't have a 36D chest, as you know. Even female viewers.

But that aside, the trailer does look promising. The actors do look like the characters that they are portraying, and they even have the vocal patterns down pat.

Larry, of course, was my favorite Stooge, and Sean Hayes looks like he "got" it, as do the other two actors.

Yes, I will eat humble pie here. The Three Stooges movie looks interesting, and with all the trash out there pretending to be art, I can go for some obviously lowbrow 90 minute garbage when it comes out next year.

And it comes out in April--around my birthday.

This Larry appears to be very, very amused.

Rant #632: NBA Schedules Released

The National Basketball Association has put is woes behind it, and the new Collective Bargaining Agreement appears to be set in stone.

So finally, the NBA released its less than 82-game 66-game schedule.

All teams will play a much-compacted schedule, and that goes for my beloved New York Knicks, who open the season on Christmas Day, December 25, against the Boston Celtics.

Most teams have already put their tickets on sale, but no, not the Knicks. Their tickets won't go on sale until December 13 ... I guess, to build the excitement for the team in its partlially refurbished home of Madison Square Garden.

Look, I grew up in New York City, a place where basketball was, and still is, king on the sidewalks of the five boroughs.

I was growing up in the era of Walt Frazier, Willis Reed, Bill Bradley and the others that made up the greatest Knick teams of all, coached by Red Holzman.

The Knicks haven't won a championship since 1973, and they may not ever win another one in my lifetime.

But I still love the Knicks, and I love going to the Garden to watch them play, no batter how good or bad they are.

And the best thing is that my son loves going to the games too. (For the record, my wife hates basketball, and even though I have asked her numerous times to see a Knicks game with us, she has refused. I won't give up though.)

If he had his druthers, I would get us season tickets so he could see every game in person.

Financials aside, that isn't going to happen. But he loves to go to the games, and he is now at the same age that I was when the Knicks won their last championship, so we will be there for at least one game this season, sitting in the 400 seats that are closer to God than they are to the court.

But it will be fun, and I really can't wait to go.

Call me a poor idiot, but the lockout aside, I guess I enjoy watching petty, ego-driven millionaires play others in the same tax bracket.

How will the Knicks do this year? Who knows. I don't live and die with the Knicks like I do with the Yankees, whose expectations are always high.

But I think the Knicks will do fine this year. With Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony leading the way, they will certainly be a hot ticket in New York.

But all I need is two tickets to one of their games, that is really all I need.

Let's see how I do next Tuesday.

The 400 section, here I (and my son) come!

Here is the Knicks' 2011-2012 schedule:

December
Sat 17 @ New Jersey Preseason 2:00pm
Wed 21 vs New Jersey Preseason 7:30pm

Sun 25 vs Boston 12:00pm
Wed 28 @ Golden State 10:30pm
Thu 29 @ LA Lakers 10:30pm
Sat 31 @ Sacramento 8:00pm

January
Mon 02 vs Toronto 7:30pm
Wed 04 vs Charlotte 7:30pm
Fri 06 @ Washington 7:00pm
Sat 07 @ Detroit 7:30pm
Mon 09 vs Charlotte 7:30pm
Wed 11 vs Philadelphia 7:30pm
Thu 12 @ Memphis 8:00pm
Sat 14 @ Oklahoma City 8:00pm
Mon 16 vs Orlando 1:00pm
Wed 18 vs Phoenix 7:30pm
Fri 20 vs Milwaukee 7:30pm
Sat 21 vs Denver 7:30pm
Tue 24 @ Charlotte 7:00pm
Wed 25 @ Cleveland 7:00pm
Fri 27 @ Miami 8:00pm
Sat 28 @ Houston 8:00pm
Tue 31 vs Detroit 7:30pm

February
Thu 02 vs Chicago 8:00pm
Fri 03 @ Boston 8:00pm
Sat 04 vs New Jersey 7:30pm
Mon 06 vs Utah 7:30pm
Wed 08 @ Washington 7:00pm
Fri 10 vs LA Lakers 8:00pm
Sat 11 @ Minnesota 8:00pm
Tue 14 @ Toronto 7:00pm
Wed 15 vs Sacramento 7:30pm
Fri 17 vs New Orleans 8:00pm
Sun 19 vs Dallas 1:00pm
Mon 20 vs New Jersey 7:30pm
Wed 22 vs Atlanta 7:30pm
Thu 23 @ Miami 7:00pm
Wed 29 vs Cleveland 7:30pm

March
Sun 04 @ Boston 1:00pm
Tue 06 @ Dallas 8:30pm
Wed 07 @ San Antonio 8:30pm
Fri 09 @ Milwaukee 8:30pm
Sun 11 vs Philadelphia 12:00pm
Mon 12 @ Chicago 8:00pm
Wed 14 vs Portland 7:30pm
Fri 16 vs Indiana 7:30pm
Sat 17 @ Indiana 7:00pm
Tue 20 vs Toronto 7:30pm
Wed 21 @ Philadelphia 7:00pm
Fri 23 @ Toronto 7:00pm
Sat 24 vs Detroit 7:30pm
Mon 26 vs Milwaukee 7:30pm
Wed 28 vs Orlando 7:00pm
Fri 30 @ Atlanta 7:30pm
Sat 31 vs Cleveland 7:30pm

April
Tue 03 @ Indiana 7:00pm
Thu 05 @ Orlando 7:00pm
Sun 08 vs Chicago 1:00pm
Tue 10 @ Chicago 9:30pm
Wed 11 @ Milwaukee 8:00pm
Fri 13 vs Washington 7:30pm
Sun 15 vs Miami 1:00pm
Tue 17 vs Boston 8:00pm
Wed 18 @ New Jersey 7:30pm
Fri 20 @ Cleveland 7:30pm
Sun 22 @ Atlanta 1:00pm
Wed 25 vs LA Clippers 8:00pm
Thu 26 @ Charlotte 8:00pm

Rant #631: Wally World

Today would have been actor and comedian Wally Cox's 87th birthday.

Again, like yesterday's Rant about Alan Sues, I doubt a lot of kids know who Wally Cox was.

But I remember him fondly.

Cox was sort of a nerd before nerd became a word.

He always seemed to play nebbishes, milquetoasts, henpecked characters. I guess that look that he had, appearing thin and bespectacled and gaunt, added to that typecasting.

And his voice, which was very wishy washy and nasally, just added to the stereotype.

But Cox, in real life, was far from that stereotype. He was actually quite athletic.

Cox was one of TV's first created stars as the star of "Mr. Peepers," one of the new medium's seminal shows. He played a milquetoast character on that popular show, and it carried over to just about everything else he did as an actor.

Growing up in Evanston, Ill., Cox became friends with another neighborhood child, Marlon Brando, and that friendship lasted his entire lifetime.

But unlike Brando, Cox couldn't break out to more demanding roles than his stereotypical role as a nebbish. He perpetuated that role in a number of movies and guest shots on numerous TV shows, including on "The Lucy Show" and the original "Bill Cosby Show."

In the mid 1960s, Cox leaped to fame as the voice for the cartoon character "Underdog." And again, Underdog's alter-ego, Shoe Shine Boy, was a nebbish, and it fit his stereotypical character to a T.

Cox then found further fame as one of the regulars on "The Hollywood Squares" game show, where he continued in his stereotypical role. But here, he showed just how bright he was in between the laughs.

Personally, I always found Cox to be an adept comedian. Whenever he came on the screen, I knew I had to be ready for the laughs to come, because they invariably would. And when he was on "The Hollywood Squares," there seemed to be a bit of resignation about him that I couldn't put my finger on. It was as if he believed that this was the level he was stuck at, and he was going to make the best of it.

He displayed a very dry wit, and unlike Paul Lynde--who you knew was reading jokes that were given to him--Cox appeared to be answering from his own mind. Whether that was true or not is open to speculation, but I always thought that he answered himself without prompting.

Cox was married three times and had two children. He died on Feb. 15, 1973 of a heart attack. Brando scattered his ashes in Death Valley and Tahiti.

Cox's legacy can be found in all the nerdish characters that followed him, from those actors in "The Revenge of the Nerds" series of movies to the actors who currently populate "The Big Bang Theory." Even the Steve Urkel character owes a lot to Cox.

Cox set the tone for these type of roles, but to this day, nobody did that type of character better than he did.

Rant #630: He Laughed In, But Never Came Out

Alan Seus died a few days ago. He was 85 years old.

For many people, the name of Alan Sues means absolutely nothing, but to a generation of baby boomers, he was one of the biggest TV stars of the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Sues was a cast member on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, probably the most irreverent, off the wall show in television history. Changing the way we watched TV, the original show lasted five seasons, helped to make huge stars out of many of its cast members, including Goldie Hawn and Lily Tomlin, and as far as I am concerned, has never been equaled to this day.

Alan Sues was a member of the zany troupe which included Arte Johnson, Ruth Buzzi, Henry Gibson, Joanne Worley, Judy Carne Dan Rowan and Dick Martin themselves, and many others. They brought a youthful zing into our homes in the late 1960s, reshaping the variety show forever--and probably leading that format to its death in its own way just a few years later.

Sues played an integral role in the proceedings. He got under the radar of the censors, somehow, in his playing of the generally effeminate character on the show.

His greatest achievement, and character on the show, was his portrayal of the less than masculine sportscaster, Big Al, where all the wispy posturing came right out to the fore. No one ever said the character was gay, but even in this then young kids' mind, there was something "funny" about this character. He not only made me laugh, but he made me think.

His character was the perfect play on the ultra-masculine sportscasters of the day, and his parody of them is one of the most memorable in that show's history.

He also played Uncle Al, the Kiddie's Pal, which was less successful, but still funny.

And the skits on the show often put him in situations where his "gay" attitude was allowed to shine, even though it wasn't broadcast that he was gay.

Remember, this was the late 1960s. Things started to be lampooned that hadn't been tackled in prior years, but one of the taboos continued to be homosexuality.

There were several actors who appeared regularly on TV who were gay, even though they either didn't admit it for years or never admitted it while alive. That list includes Raymond Burr, Roger C. Carmel, Robert Reed, Paul Lynde and Richard Deacon. They didn't admit it because during those years, it might have meant the end of their careers.

However, in Lynde's case, even younger viewers kind of knew there was something "odd" about this guy, and I think the same thing can be said for Sues.

In his private life, he never admitted to be gay. He was a military veteran, married, and actually had a long-running act with his then wife, who he divorced n the late 1950s but was friendly with until his death.

But there was something with this guy, and as a young kid watching Laugh-In, I thought he was absolutely hysterical. And I mean funny. I probably didn't even know what "gay" was at that time.

After Laugh-In rode its course, Sues continued to be active. He appeared in numerous Peter Pan peanut butter commercials in the 1970s, and again, he played that effeminate-type character. Nobody minded, as long as the peanut butter flowed.

He appeared on Broadway and several films, and at the time of his death, was actually putting together a somewhat autobiographical audio book on his life in show business.

Sues was a definite pioneer on television, but to me, I am able to look past that, and just admire him as a terrific comedian, a guy I really liked on Laugh-In.

And maybe that's the whole point, and the point he was going for. Acceptance comes in many forms, and for Sues, the medium of television was his way to get the word out that he could be as funny as anyone, no matter what skin he was in.

Rant #629: Baby Talk

I have to begin this Rant by telling you that my eyes are really bothering me today. Everything is fuzzy--like the way it was before I had my procedure a few years back--and I can't see clearly.

I have had this problem before, so I am hoping it goes away. If not, then I will have to see my retinologist sometime in the near future.

And with this fog encapsulating me, I am going to tell you what some of the most popular baby names are today.

Evidently, according to an annual survey done by something called BabyCenter.com, two out of five mothers find inspiration among famous people in naming their newborns.

The most popular female names are currently Sophia, Emma, Isabella, Olivia, Ava, Lily, Chloe, Madison, Emily and Abigail. A big trend here appears to be names with vowels as their last letter.

Boys names include Aiden, Jackson, Mason, Liam, Jacob, Jayden, Ethan, Noah, Lucas and Logan. I see a definite pattern here, with the letter "n" found at the end of six of these names.

I like the way myself and fellow Jewish people pick names. We honor someone who has passed away by either naming the child directly after that person or taking the first letter of his or her name and using it to name the child.

And we do the same for the child's Hebrew name too.

There are no juniors or repeat names in Jewish families, such as II or III. However, Sephardic Jews do often name their children by using "Jr."

So perhaps one day, the "L" in my first name of Larry will be passed on to a child in my family.

Or maybe the entire "Lawrence/Larry" will be recycled.

I hope that child will know who he or she is named after.

My hebrew name is Yoael, so I guess that that name will be passed on too.

I hope that person wears the name or initial well.

Believe me, I have tried, I really have.

Rant #628: And It Cost Just 10 Cents ...

Just as an afterthought to yesterday's Rant about my father, another thing he passed on to me was the love of comic books.

He collected them as a kid during the 1930s and 1940s, read them, and put them away. In the mid 1960s, my grandmother got rid of them in the trash--on the very day my father and I came to her house to pick them up for me.

God, I wonder what issues were in that collection, and what they would be worth today?

As a kid, this was my hobby. I collected comic books like mad, read them all, and put them away in my closet, where they sit, virtually undisturbed, to this day.

Unfortunately, most of my comics are from the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s, and evidently, they aren't worth too much, especially compared to the first issue of Action Comics, which featured the first appearance of Superman.

A pristine mint copy of this issue set a record Wednesday for the most money paid for a single comic book: $2.16 million.

It's the first time a comic book has broken the $2 million barrier, and no, the 2,000 or some comic books that I have sitting in my closet don't total anything near that amount that was paid for one, single comic book.

The most amazing thing about it is that the issue was published in 1938 and cost just 10 cents when it first came out.

I am sure thousands of kids bought this comic, but because of its age, not too many in any condition still exist. On top of that fact is that many kids' comics were trashed when the kids became older. People just didn't understand the value of these things way back when. I'm sure many others were scuttled during the paper drives of the 1940s revolving around World War II.

About 100 copies of Action Comics No. 1 are believed to be in existence, and only a handful of those in good condition.

But no, I don't have the issue in my collection, but I do have a reprint from I think the early 1970s. I wonder what that would go for on the open market today?

Heck, at this point, forget about the $2 million, I would take $20 for it--and maybe a couple of thousand dollars for the entire collection.

Anybody want to make me an offer?

Anybody?