Rant #853: Skywriting On the Wall

Today is the 90th anniversary of something so innocuous that I figured I would write about it here.

I am sure that this is probably the only place that you are going to be reading about this, so here goes.

In 1922, 90 years ago, the first skywriting demonstration was held.

Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force spelled out "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square.

The result: about 47,000 calls in less than three hours were made to that number, and so was born an advertising vehicle that exists to this day.

This was the first public exhibition of skywriting, so I assume that it had been tested and used prior to this, probably by the military.

We have all seen skywriting in the air, usually over very public events, or when we are at the beach.

The skywriting lasts a few minutes, and then goes away literally in a puff of smoke.

All different messages have been put in the air this way.

I have seen ads for suntan lotion, and I have seen marriage proposals.

It is a very unique advertising vehicle, because it's only readable for a few minutes, and then, it's gone.

Sometimes, these things are easy to read, while other times, you really have to stare at them for awhile to make them out.

Not being a pilot, I could never figure out how these things are done, anyway.

How does the pilot know what he is writing? How does he know to cross his t's and dot his i's?

I am sure there is some type of planogram that he uses so that he knows exactly what he is doing, but it's something I never figured out.

Maybe that's why I find skywriting so fascinating, in a subtle type of way.

It's something I simply don't get, and I wonder how someone one day decided that you could actually write messages in the sky.

No, it's not a morbid fascination, it's just one of those things that make life interesting.

You know, it falls into the "head scratching" category for me.

And to me, that's not a mere puff of smoke.

Rant #852: Cyber Fun Day?

So, did you spend scads of money on the Internet during Cyber Monday?

I didn't, but I know that millions did just that. And they did it while they were at work.

Cyber Monday is a day that has been created by the retail industry trade groups to kick start sales on the Internet.

Of course, this is commonplace now, but several years ago, it wasn't.

People couldn't imagine shopping electronically. Heck, you couldn't see and feel what you wanted, and you wouldn't get the extra rush of actually having the stuff immediately, rather than waiting for it.

Well now, shopping on the Internet has become commonplace. Seemingly everyone does it.

I have personally bought dozens of things on the Internet, mainly CDs and DVDs.

And today, people can get those types of things immediately, electronically.

Everything is a file nowadays.

The thing I can't figure out is how people buy more personal things on the Internet.

I am mainly talking about clothing, whether outerwear or underwear.

How do women know if a bra will fit properly if she buys it on the Internet?

How do you know if pants will look right, if tops will look right, heck, even if shoes will fit your foot right if you buy it on the Internet?

I guess it is the modern extension of buying from catalogs.

Since the first Sears catalogs in the 1800s, people have been buying somewhat blind when it comes to clothing.

But they buy ... and buy ... and buy.

I can't buy clothing like that, but millions of people can.

As it is, Cyber Monday has become a multi-billion dollar business.

Personally, I have all my gifts for the holiday, and my holiday is Hanukkah.

It comes on the evening of December 8, so it is a bit earlier than Christmas this year.

But happily, I did not have to buy into Cyber Monday this year.

For me, it was simply a normal Monday. I didn't interrupt my workday to buy like it was going out of style.

Did you?

Rant #851: Back to Business

Today we all get back to business after a long Thanksgiving Day weekend.

I had plenty of turkey this weekend. First, we had our own annual Thanksgiving Day feast.

I ate so much turkey that I was ready it explode; it was that good.

Then, on Saturday, we went over to my brother in law and had more turkey.

I watched myself at this one, what with the long drive and coming home late. I didn't eat much turkey, but enough to make me content.

Mix that in with turkey salad leftovers, and I was really happy that my wife cooked my son and I meatballs and pasta last night.

Did you shop 'til you dropped?

This morbid fascination with buying everything in the store at all hours really doesn't do anything for me. I didn't think there were that many bargains out there, anyway, although the way the department stores were advertising them, you would think they were giving up the store.

They weren't.

And as I thought, those protests about workers having to work on Thanksgiving fell to deaf ears.

Sure, the stores should not be open on the holiday, but until people stop wanting to shop on that day, the stores will be open.

And nobody says anything about other people who have to work that day. What about those working in restaurants, supermarkets, and the like ... why do they have to work?

The protests were nonsensical, and when I heard that many were manned not by people directly involved in the stores, but by Occupy New York imbeciles and their brethren around the country, I knew that the whole thing was a bunch of nonsense.

But anyway, we are all back to business today.

The holiday is but a memory, and now we have to go back to work.

I woke up at my usual time, went through my usual ritual to get ready for work, and in about 45 minutes, I will be off to the races.

Even though the holiday is a relatively long one, it goes fast, and this year, I had lots to be thankful for.

This was a good holiday, and I hope your holiday was as good as mine.

Now, "Back to the salt mines," as Mr. Rutherford used to say on "Leave It To Beaver."

The digging begins ...

Rant #850: It's All About the Turkey ... and Family

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so this is my last Rant for the week.

I am taking a few days off. And that makes me happy. I need to relax, and I am very thankful for this little break that is coming my way.

I am also thankful for lots of other things as we enter one of the year's best holidays.

I am thankful that my home was not severely damaged by Hurricane Sandy.

I am thankful that my family is intact, there have been no major illnesses or injuries, and that we are all relatively healthy.

I am thankful that my pinched nerve seems to be responding to the regimen that I have adopted, and physical therapy too (I am still in a bit of pain, but it's not as bad as it was).

I am thankful I have a job to go to each workday. I complain about it, there are things that aren't right with it, but at least I bring home an honest paycheck.

I am thankful that my daughter, at long last, just told me that she found a job.

I am thankful that the Knicks are off to a great start, and that you always have a good shot with the Yankees.

I am thankful that the Nassau Coliseum will not be razed, and it appears it will be reconfigured to showcase concerts and high school and college athletics. The final word isn't in yet, but it looks like the Coliseum will live on.

I am thankful that I have the best wife, and good kids, and that my parents are still around to enjoy all of this.

And I am thankful that I bought a big enough turkey to fill the brood that is coming here tomorrow: in addition to my family, my sister's family too.

I had to haggle a bit, but I got a decent turkey. Don't ask. A certain supermarket chain runs an ad that they "can't be beat," on the price of turkeys; I beat their price, and they still give me an argument about the definition of what a "frozen" turkey is.

But I prevailed, which was nice.

So to all of you, have a nice holiday.

And remember, it is all about the turkey ... and family.

You can't have a real Thanksgiving without both.

Rant #849: Thanksgiving Day Turkey

Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner, and I am looking forward to all of those Black Friday sales (not).

But something has come up this year which might just spoil the dressing, if you know what I mean.

Numerous stores have decided to open on Thanksgiving Day, and begin their Black Friday sales a couple of hours early.

This has numerous people happy, because they can begin their shopping early.

This also has numerous people livid, because now they have to go to work on a day that is supposed to be dedicated to family.

Black Friday is bad (or good) enough; now we also have Black Thursday to contend with.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why the stores are opening on Thursday.

It is to get a competitive advantage.

And yes, people will shop on Thursday, all full of Turkey and with, what they feel, is nothing else to do on the holiday once all their guests have left and the leftovers are firmly tucked away.

But those that have to work, to keep their jobs, protest. They believe that this is the only day of the year that they can really spend top to bottom with their families.

Two major chains, Wal-Mart and Target, are opening on Thursday, and this has riled their employees.

From what I read, there will be protests at these stores. Target employees already have a petition out against opening on Thursday, with thousands of signatures.

Yes, I do feel it is wrong to open on Thanksgiving Day. That is a day that is supposed to be wholly about family, not about sales.

But on the other hand, people will shop 'til they drop if given the opportunity. And stores have a right to play into that, by staying open.

I don't know how the workers are getting paid that day, but I am sure they are not making their normal rate, in particular if they are hourly workers. Anybody hear double and triple time?

But the bottom line is that what makes opening on Thursday any different than the idiocy that goes on the very next day?

Stores open early, real early, on the Friday after Thanksgiving.

And idiots line up to shop, bursting upon the stores hours before they open.

All that some stores have done this year is to push the hours up a bit.

Yes, it is wrong, very wrong, to open on Thanksgiving. But the stores make oodles of money on Black Friday, pushing them into the black, hence the name Black Friday.

They just want to make oodles more, and that is why they are opening on Thursday.

Again, I don't like it, and no, I won't be shopping on Thursday and hopefully not Friday.

But I have to look at both sides, and both sides are right in this case.

I, myself, have worked in the past on Thanksgiving, and it isn't too much fun.

I do feel for the workers, and I hope that this is the only Thanksgiving they have to work.

Maybe, if people stayed away, then these stores would see that it is not economically feasible for the stores to open on that day.

But you just know that shoppers won't stay away that day.

They are full of turkey, figuratively, literally, and stupidly, as far as I am concerned.

Stay home. Show the stores that Thanksgiving is one day that everyone should enjoy, and enjoy on their own terms.

Rant #848: Twinkies Fallout

I am sure that you have read that Hostess Brands, the maker of the eponymous Twinkies franchise, has gone under.

Yes, they have gone out of business.

Their unions were told of their plans last week, told if they didn't accept what the parent company was offering, they would have to terminate business.

In one of the stupidest union moves ever, the union called the parent company's bluff, and now, they have no jobs to fight for.

Stockholders of the parent company will make millions off this deal, as brands like Wonder Bread and Ding Dongs will be sold to the highest bidder.

And that include Twinkies.

What happened after the company went under is one that you have to scratch your heads about.

People ran out and bought every Twinkie they could fine--the regular vanilla filled ones, even the chocolate ones.

The bought boxes and boxes of the stuff, and figured now would be the time to make a killing.

They put their purchases up on eBay, asking for upwards of $100 for a box of Twinkies.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Twinkies. I just had a few last week. I didn't even realize we had them, and my son and I ate them before all this nonsense started.

It isn't the same Twinkie that I grew up with. Yes, they are good, but they are a bit more dense than I remember them to be, not too fluffy anymore. That's probably because they use corn syrup, not real sugar anymore.

Anyway, would you spend $100 a box for a Twinkie fix, especially when it is almost a certainty that these things will come out once again in the near future through another manufacturer?

People knock Twinkies because they aren't healthy, but heck, if you are eating these things, you are not looking for their health benefits.

I saw that someone on Facebook said the reason that the company went out was because they didn't make their products healthier.

Come on. There is no such thing as a healthy Twinkie, and there will never be a healthy Twinkie.

You want healthy things, eat granola, or real yogurt.

You are not going to reap any health benefits from a Twinkie, and its makers knew that.

People knock Twinkies, but people love them too. If you don't want to eat it, just don't.

But $100 for a box of Twinkies? No, I draw the line.

Where's Little Debbie when you need her ... err, it?

Rant #847: Working For the Weekend

It's Friday.

Thank goodness.

The only problem is that Friday is not Saturday nor Sunday. Friday is not the weekend.

I may have Friday on my mind, but I really have the Friday after work on my mind, and the two days that follow it.

It has really been a rough few weeks for everyone in my neck of the woods, what with the hurricane, the nor'easter, and adjusting to life after that.

And as I have said, my family was really, really lucky. I can only imagine what others have had to go through, and will continue to go through.

As for me, these weeks have been long and rough, and I am just looking forward to some relaxing time.

It has just been announced that gas rationing will end this weekend, so the odd/even thing is out the door.

It seemed to work, and the only question I have to our governor is why it wasn't imposed earlier?

I waited 10 hours for gas one weekend on four different lines. Ridiculous, but it was me and thousands of others who killed a weekend doing that.

There is nothing special about this coming weekend, no Knicks games, no celebrations of birthdays, nothing like that.

It's just a time to relax, and although you can't fully relax as a parent, at least you can wind down a little.

And that is what I hope to do.

So I will see you Monday.

And you know what? Next week is a really short week with Thanksgiving coming up, so relaxation looms.

And no, I won't be running out on Black Friday to do my shopping.

That wouldn't be very relaxing, would it?