Rant #33: Baseball and Steroids-Sosa What?

I am a huge baseball fan, a big fan of the Yankees, and this entire steroid mess we, as baseball fans, have been put through has been a horror, putting a major smudge on the game we love. Every time we hear a new name--McGwire, Clemens, ARod, Ramirez--we cringe even more.

Well, a new name has been added, even though this one was really not much of a surprise. Sammy Sosa, who testified before Congress that he did not use steroids (or barely did, since he said his English wasn't too good), has reportedly been named as one of the players on the infamous list for using Performance Enhancing Drugs, or PEDs as they are called in our acronym-happy society. Sosa was always suspect, but no one had anything on him, reportedly until now.

As a baseball fan, I am all tapped out on this mess. When I hear another name mentioned, I shrug my shoulders and basically say, "So what?" Was Sosa any different from dozens of others who used and abused these drugs? More importantly, did he abuse this stuff before these substances were deemed illegal by Major League Baseball? People forget that Mark McGwire broke no rules when he supposedly used his PEDs--none were in place at that time for his drug of choice, andro.

I know this is cheating of the highest order--not only are you cheating on the field, but many of these substances are so dangerous that you could be cheating on your life--but when I hear another name added to the list, it doesn't faze me anymore.

The game is cleaner now, although guys like Manny Ramirez still try to buck the system.

Personally, although I am not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination, I can't understand why anyone would use these things anyway. They scare me just by what's in them, and why can't athletes get what they get out of these substances more naturally? I am sure that many players don't go this route, so why do some think they are smarter than the rest?

So, Sosa has been added to the list. Yes, his name, with his 600-plus home runs, is sullied for eternity.

But does it change my love for the game? No, it doesn't.

It is, and will always remain, America's National Pastime.

If you want to see real baseball being played by players who really care, take in a Little League game. Sure, these are just kids, but as a former coach, I can tell you that these kids really love what they are doing. Major leaguers should have it in their contracts that they must attend a few local Little League games each year--not only will it show them players who really, truly love this game, but it will bring them back to their roots, when they felt the same way about baseball.

I played Little League baseball until I was 15--it wasn't in a registered Little League, it was our community's league--and my love for the game has continued to this day. My son played until he was 12, and he loves the game too.

Sosa on steroids--so what? The game will survive his lapse in judgment.

Rant #32: Writing Instruments: Just Put the Pen to the Paper

I am a writer, so an essential tool that I use is a pen.

There are many different types of pens, but I prefer your usual, run of the mill ball-point pen. As long as it writes, I am happy. When it is empty, I get rid of it, and move onto the next pen.

I know that pen companies need to sell their product, but some of the newest "features" to pens--like cushions, wide bodies, different types of inks, and the like--kind of throw me for a loop.

Who needs all of these features--don't we just want to have a pen that writes?

Purchasing a pen is not like purchasing a car, although the pen companies want you to believe that one is akin to the other.

Personally, I just want a pen that writes.

BIC pens--France's greatest contribution to the modern world, as far as I am concerned--are the perfect types of pens for the jobs that I use them for.

Pen companies I guess must make pens more than they really are. People admit to be car salesmen, but have you ever heard of anyone who admits to being a pen salesman?

Pens should be disposable and not too thought provoking. Heck, the local bank here gives out pens for free. I don't see car dealers doing the same.

Again, just give me a pen that writes. Once it is done doing its job, it goes in the waste basket, and the next victim finds my hand.

And don't get me started on all the different types of pencils out there ...

Rant #31: Rap Crap

My son enjoys rap music, and he really enjoys the four-letter-word-laden, sexist, racist and anti-everything kind that is popular among kids today. I don't really know why he likes it--I have asked him the question, and he never really answered, other than saying that "I just like it, I don't know"--but I suspect because he knows it is something "dirty," and as a 13 year old, he is attracted to doing something his parents don't approve of.

Have any of you heard some of this garbage? I have told him many times that I don't care how much money these guys have--and they have plenty--that this music really isn't music; it is gutter garbage.

Now, I sound like an old fuddy duddy, but if I do, so be it. This is not music, and although there might be a beat that the kids like, I still think they are attracted to the subversive nature of the lyrics (if they can understand them).

I would say that record companies should police this garbage, but again, that is a free speech issue. I guess even people with these mentalities have the right to say what they want in this country.

However, the way they say it is what bothers me the most. They appear to be completely inarticulate, and must resort to using one curse word after another to get their point across. And don't get me started about the constant use of the N-word in many of these songs!

When I was a kid, plenty of people spoke up through music about things they thought needed to be addressed. Everyone from Bob Dylan to Marvin Gaye, from Phil Ochs to Stevie Wonder, sang about things in their music that they felt were important. I am not saying that these people were saints, but they used music to articulate their thoughts--and they did them in at least a somewhat understandable tone (nod to Bob Dylan here).

These rappers today, "articulate" their thoughts through hatred. It's not the way to do it.

And before anyone gets on the racist bandwagon, I feel as strongly about Paul Wall's lack of real musical ability as I do 50 Cent, and the same goes for Eminem, whose popularity boggles my mind.

Rant #30: Abuse of the Internet

Just to continue my thoughts on the previous post for one last time ...

As a writer, I do believe in free speech.

However, I do not believe in the abuse of free speech, although I understand that oftentimes, the abuse is in the eyes of the beholder. For instance, my recent rant about gay marriage could be looked upon as free speech abuse by some. So could my rant on ties, or women and swimsuits, for that matter.

Whatever the case, I think we are in a new era of free speech, because the Internet has given some an electronic pulpit from which to spew their hate--and through the Internet, this hate can get to many more people than other hate campaigns could in the past.

It does appear that the Internet is akin to the Wild West now; there do not seem to be any rules, and whatever invisible "rules" there are, are seemingly made to be broken. Anybody can say anything; that is both good and bad, because while the Internet gives a voice to people who previously had none, it also gives a voice, and a certain credence, to those who abuse their privilege and responsibility.

Can rules be set in place to monitor this hate? Probably not. But Internet providers can make their own rules about what is right and what is wrong, and certainly, Nazi-themed hate sites are wrong.

I think it is about time for these providers to step up their efforts to weed out this type of garbage.

Rant #29: Hate Is (Still) All Around

I was very disturbed to hear that a gunman had entered the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., and opened fire.

What's worse, the alleged gunman is an 88 year old who has been fostering anti-Semitic hatred for basically his whole life.

What really gets me is that he has maintained a Web site, where he is able to spew forth his venomous attacks.

Is the Internet still the Wild, Wild West? Does anything still go on this electronic medium? Do those that allow these sites to exist have any modicum of decency?

I don't understand how a guy like this is able to get away with having such a Web site. Doesn't his Internet provider see how he is using their service? Do they care?

Evidently not. The gunman's site is one of virtually thousands that spew anti-Semitic crap, and people do visit these sites.

That's the scary thing--this hatred is out there, and there is little anybody can do to stop it, especially when it's all over the Internet.

I can't believe that people continue to believe that the Holocaust did not happen. I guess you believe what you want to believe, but not to believe that this actually happened is something so twisted to me that I simply cannot understand it.

My heart goes out to the security guard who took a bullet and died while doing his job ... from an 88-year-old piece of trash who should have been confined to some type of mental facility a long time ago.

Rant #28: Women Complaining About Swimsuits-Just Jump In the Water!

Let me start off by saying that I love my wife dearly. She is a great woman, balancing career and motherhood, and, for that matter, being married to me, all at once. I can't live without her.

However, when it comes to bathing suits, she drives me mad.

My wife, who is 52 like I am, hates the way she looks in bathing suits. To me, she looks great--and certainly looks much younger than her years--but when she looks in the mirror, she must see something that I don't, because she hates the way she looks ...

Especially in a bathing suit.

Look, I know that bathing suits show a little more skin than regular, everyday clothes, but the idea is to wear what is comfortable and have fun in the water.

We are going on vacation soon, and I saw my wife's available bathing suits, and I thought she should go and buy a new one. Well, this led to the usual, " I don't need one" refrain, followed by "I look fat" and all the other nonsense related to bathing suits. She also said that now that she is 52, some of her bathing suits are not appropriate for her anymore.

My wife is far from fat. She works out every day. She has the look and figure of a woman in her 30s. Nobody can believe she is 52.

And we are not talking about bikinis or really skimpy swimwear. Her suits cover her up pretty well, leaving lots to the imagination. They don't show very much at all.

She actually went and tried on a few suits, but, of course, she didn't like how she looked in them.

The end result: she will be wearing the suits she has, even though she doesn't like the way she looks in them either. Of course, I thought she needed a new swimsuit, but I am only her husband, what do I know?

I am happy that I don't have such a problem. I really don't care how I look in a suit, although I wouldn't wear a tiny Speedo or something like that. I just put one on and go in the water.

With women, I know it's different, but just put one on and jump in! Don't worry about all the other things.

(And no, that picture is not of my wife. If I printed a picture of her in a bathing suit, I think she would kill me. But I repeat, she looks great in whatever swimwear she chooses.)

Rant #27: Don't Remake Movies That Are Perfect Already

During the past few years, Hollywood has churned out one stinker after another, but at least most of these were original films, based on original scripts. Occasionally, I personally find a film that is terrific and keeps my attention, but nine times out of 10, I find myself bored out of my mind.

What's worse, Hollywood has a penchant for taking something that is perfect and making it into trash--and what I am talking about are movie remakes.

When was the last time you saw a really good remake? Well, I certainly didn't this weekend when I saw "The Day the Earth Stood Still" on video. The original movie was absolutely perfect, getting into the Cold War mood as an alien travels to the earth to actually help our planet, but no one will give him a chance because he is an "alien." It was one of the best science fiction movies of all time.

Well, the newest version of this film is trash, plain and simple. Keanu Reeves, one of the all-time worst actors ever, is this version's Klaatu, but the filmmakers changed the plot a bit, to make it more of an ecological fable than anything else. There is also a hint of romance, although nothing ever happens, between Reeves and the beautiful Jennifer Connelly, another one of the world's worst (and probably one of the most overrated) actors. She is nice to look at, but her character, who actually believes Klaatu, is vapid.

The movie is absolutely awful. I can't believe Hollywood can foist a movie like this on the public.

But they have done it numerous times, butchering classic films with updated--but horrid--remakes.

"Psycho" and "The War of the Worlds" are just two recent remakes that have not improved one iota on the perfect originals.

And don't get me started on TV shows-to-major-motion-pictures ... I don't remember the last good one I've seen, but I can tell you about some of the horrid ones, including "Charlie's Angels," "The Honeymooners" and the absolutely god-awful "Get Smart." And yes, most of the Star Trek films are awful if you are honest about it.

Come up with original scripts, that's my message. I mean, if they can remake "Psycho," who is to say that "Casablanca," "Gone with the Wind," and "The Wizard of Oz" remakes are not festering in some alleged screenwriter's imagination?