Rant #63: I Hate Voice Mail

Well, I don't hate it when it is being used in a private residence.

But when a private company uses it, I despise it.

Just today, I called my local satellite provider to order a pay per view event. I proceeded to get so tangled in the provider's voice mail web that I basically gave up.

You get bounced from one area to another, and none of them answer your questions. The automatic answerer seems kind and sincere, except when you understand that you are talking to what amounts to a robot--and the answers are robotic too.

You can't win here. I still have not ordered the event, and I don't know if I am going to try again.

Give me a real operator anytime. I don't like speaking to robots.

Rant #62: Why Are My Era's TV Shows So Slow To Come Out On DVD?

Alluding to my recent The Lucy Show post, I am glad to tell you (If you don't already know) that several of my era's TV shows--I am talking about shows from the mid to late 1960s--are finally starting to come out on DVD.

Sure, the major shows have already been released, but I am talking about the second- and third tier stuff--not just The Lucy Show, but The Patty Duke Show, The Mothers In Law, another season (finally) of My Favorite Martian ... this is a treasure trove of stuff that has been sitting around for way too long in studio vaults.

Once the DVD era arrived, and consumers demonstrated that they would buy old TV shows in this format, studios released hundreds of titles, most of them from the 1970s up to the current day. But there were scant releases from my era, the 1960s. I think that had to do with the fact that so much of those shows were in black and white rather than color. Would consumers buy black and white shows?

Certainly, shows like The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits proved that anthologies would sell no matter what color they were in. But would sitcoms? Studios released titles like Leave It To Beaver, only to release one or two seasons and then nothing else. Others released product in both colorized and original black and white versions, such as Bewitched.

Then all of a sudden, these types of releases stopped. It was easier to get The Facts of Life than it was Beaver.

Now, the studios are mining their vaults again, and with shows like The Patty Duke Show ready to come out, there is no telling what else will find its way to DVD soon.

However, the wait for these titles has been ridiculously long. I hope that the first volume of these titles is followed by succeeding seasons, not stopping altogether like Beaver did with the second season. I notice that My Three Sons has hit a wall with the second part of the first season (another rant--why split the seasons, other than for pure greed?)--but I hope this trend does not continue.

And, for crying out loud, when will the third season of Beaver come out? And where is Dennis the Menace?

Rant #61: The Lighthouse Makes Me See Clearly Now

I don't know if visitors to this blog are aware of it, but one of the biggest stories encapsulating the region that I live in--Long Island, New York--is the status of The Lighthouse Project, an initiative which will turn a major, underutilized piece of real estate in the heart of one of the wealthiest counties in America--Nassau County, New York--into a mega-use area containing residential, retail and office space, as well as a new arena which would be the new home to the NHL's New York Islanders and is the centerpiece of the initiative.

The project, in its original form, came under intense scrutiny, as environmentalists claim it will hurt the groundwater situation in the area, while others said it would increase congestion in one of the already most highly congested hubs in the world, while others said that its retail base could never flourish, while others said it would bring thousands of kids into a school system which is already maxed out, while others said ...

Yes, and you wonder why it has taken years for the project to be approved by Town of Hempstead officials.

I know that we are in an economic downturn, but I put my full stamp of approval on this project.

And it has nothing to do with hockey. I hate hockey, by the way.

It has to do with the changing nature of the county that I live in.

The Islanders' current home, Nassau County Veterans Memorial Coliseum was built during a period of great growth and prosperity for Nassau County. Many New York City residents had picked up and moved out of the city during the early 1970s, when this project was built, including my family. The arena signified the growth that Nassau County, and the whole of Long Island, was experiencing.

Things have slowed down during the past 30 years, although many new residents have come to the Island, a large majority of them Hispanic, from South America, Puerto Rico and other places around the world.

The current arena is not an eyesore as some would have you think, but it is sorely in need of a replacement, much like the Mets' Shea Stadium needed to be replaced (notice I did not say Yankee Stadium--the original Stadium should never have been replaced).

Anyway, couple a new arena with new residential housing, new retail, and new office buildings, and you would think you would have a no brainer for this area--but it hasn't been that way. Special interest groups have fought it all the way, although the common rank and file generally has given its thumb's up to the project--or some form of it--for years.

To these special interest groups, I think that if this idea did not exist, they would not exist either. Although they are free to speak their mind, let's face it, nobody would listen to them voice their concerns if it were not for this project.

Charles Wang (pictured), owner of the Islanders, formerly leader of Computer Associates, and the spearhead of the project, has poured millions into the project even before a shovel is full of dirt. He has threatened to move the Islanders if the project does not get done--and with new arenas/stadiums in New York City, New Jersey and elsewhere either built or on the fast forward drawing board, he has many, many options if this thing does not get done.

Admittedly, although very wealthy, he is not the most liked person in this area. He is sort of Long Island's answer to Donald Trump. But in this instance, and maybe only this instance, the general rank and file are behind him about 99 percent.

And that is the most important thing. It seems as if the public is generally backing the project. Not only that, but the local clergy is backing the project too--which may be a first. It is good to have God on your side, although at a rally yesterday, the clergy said something stupid like, "The project will provide jobs for Catholics and non-Catholic workers."

If I am a Jew, do I qualify? How about if I am an agnostic, do I not only burn in Hell, but I can't get a job her either?

As my previous post alluded to, I went to WWE wrestling yesterday with my son at the old arena, and yes, it is old--it had few of the amenities of other arenas, was cramped, and pretty much devoid of any atmosphere whatsoever.

It was new in 1973, but it is real old now.

I say, let's get it done, let's bring a first-class arena to Nassau County and to the region, and let's give people a place to live, work and play. New and long-time residents deserve such an area, and such an arena in which to show off the county with pride.

Heck, if they can build new arenas in Newark, New Jersey, and even propose one for Brooklyn, why can't they build one on Long Island?

Sure, the economy is not good right now, but by the time this thing would be completed--probably 10 years--things could change, and change for the better.

If people are worried about the project's scale, take it from me, having written about real estate, I know that developers always plan big, and can cut down a project on a whim. You ask for the moon, you get cheese, but the cheese is good, too.

Stop stalling and get this thing done!

Rant #60: Professional Wrestling Pins Me To the Mat

My son is 13, and he loves professional wrestling--the WWE and TNA. We have been to several shows of each, and tonight, we are going to the WWE show at the Nassau Coliseum on Long Island.

I was into wrestling, too, when I was this age, and my friends and I used to go to Madison Square Garden to see the likes of Bruno Sammartino, Pedro Morales, Bob Backlund, the Sheik, Killer Kowalski, Mr. Fuji and Toru Tanaka, Chief Jay Strongbow, George "The Animal" Steele, Billy Graham and many, many others.

Today, the names have changed--the top wrestlers that we have seen live include John Cena, Triple H, Edge, Sting, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Batista, Cody Rhodes, and Randy Orton--but the format basically is the same, unchanged for decades: pit the good guy vs. the bad guy, the crowd roots for the good guy, and may the chips fall as they may.

Basically, soap opera for boys.

It's just that today, unlike when I was 13 years old, professional wrestling has become a global phenomenon, family entertainment up there with the circus. It is a multi-billion dollar industry, and when matches are held, it's like printing money--people fill up arenas, even in a down economy, and the majority of the audience are kids, ages 8-15.

When I was 13, you got proofed when you went to a MSG match--the placards used to say "no one under 18 admitted," but you could always find an "understanding" security guard who would let you in--and it was far from family fun. Lots of blood and gore, and, of course, ultra-violent. I loved it!

Today, professional wrestling is promoted as if each member of the family--mom, pop and the kids, but boys and girls--can get into this, without seeing any brutality.

Well, as we know, professional wrestling has been the focus of many investigations into steroid use, and it supposedly polices itself to a certain degree, because it is neither sport nor entertainment; it falls into a gray area called "sports entertainment" which really isn't policed at all. So both WWE and TNA, and I am sure all the regional associations, try to watch over their wrestlers, but they can't do it 24 hours a day. I won't go into the tragedies, but there have been many.

And all this in the name of "family entertainment."

Well, as I watch the current crop of testosterone-heavy warriors and silicone inflated maidens, I can't help but think that the notion of family entertainment has certainly expanded over the years. In today's world, both "SpongeBob Squarepants" and professional wrestling qualify.

But my son doesn't care, and I guess I won't for the four hours of action we will see tonight. Think of me as I try to keep my eyes open for all of this fun!

Rant #59: I Bought My Car Without a Rebate

This weekend, customers rushed to auto dealerships around the country to buy into the government's rebate plan before the money allotted to this plan ran out.

Well, I didn't take advantage of this rebate because I bought my car more than a year ago.

I lament the fact that I could not hold out for a plan that wasn't even in anyone's consciousness back in late April 2008.

Heck, I just needed a car.

My 13 year old Plymouth (yes, Plymouth) Neon was going down the tubes fast. It had so many problems with it, but I kept on fixing it, because I did not want the burden of the cost of a new car as part of my monthly bills.

Even with all its problems, it routinely passed inspection, so even with the repairs here and there, it was still worth it to me.

Well, during the last repair on the car, the mechanic told me that the car's days were numbered, and that it could die on me any day now.

About a week later it did, and I didn't want to repair it again, so I junked it, gave it to a charity, and did some research on a new car.

I basically went into a dealership with empty pockets, and I bought a car that morning, April 25.

Three days later, I was in the hospital, eventually getting my gall bladder removed--on April 28, my birthday (natch!).

Anyway, I got some dollars off here and there for one thing or another, but I did not get a $4,500 rebate. I remember distinctly that about a week after I bought the car, companies started offering gas discounts when you bought a car.

I got nothing extra, just a new car.

Yes, I am still paying it off, and I should be getting this month's bill any day now. I enjoy the car--a Kia Spectra--and it has taken me back and forth to Florida twice. I have put more than 18,000 miles on it since late April 2008.

But no rebate.

Am I envious of those who received a rebate now? No, but I wish my Neon could have lasted just another year--maybe then, my finances would be better and that rebate would have come in mighty handy.

Rant #58: Pigeons Like My Car

This has become a daily routine.

I wake up, eat breakfast, take a shower, get dressed, and eventually go to my car, whether to drive to work or to drive on the weekend.

And what do I find on my car?

Bird crap!

This seems to happen each and every day. Sometimes it's a lot, sometimes it's just a sprinkle, but seemingly each and every day birds leave their nastiness on my car.

The way our street is aligned, I have to park under a tree. I think that is the problem. Birds look at trees like humans look at water closets--one is in view, and you have to go.

Anyway, the good thing today is that it is raining, and without effort on my part, it should be gone by the time I get out of work.

However, I have noticed that sometimes, I get the industrial strength kind, and it doesn't come off so easily.

Well, less outlawing the rights of pigeons to fly near my car, what can I do? Is there pigeon repellant that you can spray on cars so that birds stay away? Should I bag my car, and thus the crap will be on the bag, not on the car?

I can't park anywhere else, as our street is full of cars.

I guess I am stuck with this crap, day in and day out.

At least my dog craps on the ground, and I can easily pick it up.

Birds should learn to do the same.

Rant #57: Michael Jackson Will Not Alter My Eating Habits

I just read that comedian/social activist Dick Gregory has said that he will fast until the truth comes out about the death of Michael Jackson. He will fast for 40 days, only drinking water, "until the truth is uncovered, not just another story, about the sudden death of Michael Jackson, one of the world's most brilliant and talented people."

On first glance, I would say this has to be a joke, but Gregory hasn't made anyone laugh in more than 40 years, so I know he will go ahead with this. He has fasted before; he will do it again.

Perhaps he can get Rev. Al to follow him on this crusade. And what is the crusade?

Does he want the authorities to say that Jackson was murdered? Would that put him on the road to his next soy burger?

Well, it got Gregory's name in the paper. You know what they say: "No press is bad press."

As for me, it's easy as A-B-C.

Give me a hamburger!