Rant #114: And the Balloon Has Burst ...

I know that by now you have heard about the story of the “balloon boy,” who supposedly stowed away on an errant balloon that he supposedly released into the skies last week. His family showed major concern for the safety of the child, an all-out panic ensued, and it ended up that not only wasn’t the six-year-old in the air with the balloon, but he was safe at home as a participant in an elaborate scam that involved his parents trying to pitch an idea for a reality show, and using this incident to interest parties who could make their dream come true.

I will not use the family’s name, because they don’t need any more publicity. The parents are extremely sick people, and perhaps they need the book thrown at them for these two idiots to understand that involving a child in your scheme for fame is not the right thing to do.

These dummies have been courted by the broadcast networks before, and the networks should be ashamed of themselves for doing this. I believe the family was on a network reality show where parents from one family are “swapped” temporarily for parents from another family, and the network cameras record all the fun and hilarity and panic that ensues from such a swap.

How much fun this is! I guess I could kick myself for missing this show.

Anyway, the parents call themselves amateur storm chasers, and I have read that the father believes that there are skeletal remains of human beings on Mars.

Yes, this is the type of person the networks should be courting, shouldn’t they?

For their latest escapade, the Heenes (oops, I did say their name after all) should be prosecuted to the highest extent that the law allows. I don’t know if they realize this, but it costs money to send out a manhunt like the one that was used to find their “missing” child. People are diverted from their normal routines. Law enforcement is tasked to find this child.

All of this is not free.

Throw the book at these two idiots. And yes, that includes removing the children—in addition to the balloon boy, I believe there are a couple of other kids, all relatively young—from the parents authority, at least for a short time, and have Child Protective Services keep an eye on this family for years to come.

Anyone who decides to sacrifice their child for the goal of becoming a “reality TV star” is not a parent. Sure, they can have kids, but I wouldn’t call them parents.

The best thing about this whole scam is that the balloon boy basically spilled the beans on national TV before throwing up a few times.

Heck, the kid is six years old. I think George Washington is looking down on him with a broad smile on his face.

Rant #113: Don't Be So Quick To Rush To Judgment

You have probably heard that conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh has been dropped from a group that was looking to purchase the NFL’s St. Louis Rams football franchise. Much was made about such a controversial individual being part of this group, and to increase the group’s chances of winning their bid, they dropped Limbaugh like a hot potato.

Charges rose from both sides. Those against Limbaugh’s participation—including Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson—argued that Limbaugh was not the type of person that should be allowed to be an owner of an NFL team because of his “racist” background. Limbaugh fired back that this was just another incidence of “Obama’s America,” and he called both Sharpton and Jackson racial “hustlers” who are always looking to incite controversy.

Although I am no fan of Limbaugh, if he can afford to be part of this group, then he should be allowed to be part of a purchase of an NFL team as a minority owner. Those against his participation claim that he is racist, and his ultra-conservative views are not in tune with the makeup of the NFL.

Well, what a bunch of hooey!

Who said anybody has to be what is "agreeable" in everyone's mold to become a professional sports team owner?

If anybody cares to look over the pond a bit, there is one minority owner in another professional sport that shows that there is a clear double standard to who and who shouldn’t be allowed to purchase a professional sports team.

Popular rapper Jay-Z is a minority owner of the New Jersey Nets basketball team. Funny, I didn’t hear the least bit of uproar when he became a minority owner of that team, even though his music is racist, anti-woman, and completely offensive.

Here are the partial lyrics to one of his songs, entitled “Trouble,” and yes, I have taken out the offensive language:

unh, you little N-- ain't deep you dumb, you N-- ain't gangsta you gum,
I chew little N--
hock-too, spew little N--, I can only view little N-- like little N--
but in lieu of little N-- trying to play that boy, I phew phew little
N-- with the latest toy
unlike you little N--, I'm a grown ass man, big shoes to fill N--,
grown ass pants
prolly hustled with your pops, go ask your parents its apparent you're
staring at a legend
who, put a few little N-- in the they place before trying to eat
without saying they grace before
blasphemous bastard get your faith restored you're viewing your version
of the lord god
mc little N--, applaud, or forever burn in the fire that I spit at y'all
I rebuke you little N--
the meek shall parish, ill roof you little N--, Im a project terrorist,
cute you little N--
think you in my class subsitute little N-- soon feel my wrath, I mute you
little N--
you a little N--, I shall abuse you little N--, I'm a ill N--,
now shoot you little N--
go somewhere and play, cuz the day I loose to you little N--, no day

Twenty uses of the “N” word in just a single passage of the song … and some say that Limbaugh has a problem?

No, our politically correct society has a problem. Things are acceptable now that were never acceptable before. But today, your skin color appears to dictate whether you are right or wrong, whether people turn the other way or not, and that is just plain wrong.

Again, if Jay-Z can be a minority owner of a professional sports team, why can’t Limbaugh?

I think people should wake up. If Jay-Z is OK, why not Limbaugh?

And just as an afterthought, if a person like Michael Vick can be allowed back into the NFL, why can't a person like Limbaugh be given the green light?

Rant #112: MGM Our Gang Collection Recently Released

Warner Bros. Video has just put out a collection of Our Gang shorts from the period after the franchise moved over the auspices of MGM in the late 1930s. I cannot tell you how much I looked forward to such a set, and now that it is finally here, I still can’t say enough about it.

The MGM episodes of the Our Gang series are pretty much looked down upon by enthusiasts of this series as being totally inferior to what came before them—and they are. They have also not been as widely viewed as the Hal Roach portion of the series, because they generally were not included in the TV package that baby boomers remember from their youth.

Thus, even though some of these MGM shorts are pretty good, they are not part of our childhood consciousness, so they can’t possibly measure up to even the weakest of the Hal Roach shorts.

Over 50 shorts were made during the few years that the series was part of MGM, and although they generally lack the charm of the earlier Hal Roach shorts, most of these 15-minute features continue to bring us back to a different time and place.

The earlier MGM shorts pretty much continue the storylines of the last of the Hal Roach shorts, and you have the overly familiar Spanky, Alfalfa, Darla, Butch, Porky and Buckwheat to help the viewer make an almost seamless transition from Hal Roach to MGM.

The problem is that as the kids got older, they were replaced by newer kid actors who simply lacked the charm of their predecessors. This includes Froggy Laughlin, Janet Burston and one Mickey Gubitosi, better known as Robert Blake.

It probably wasn’t the kids’ fault, because the scripts became weaker as the series wore on.

And also, MGM decided to use the popularity of the series to promote various causes, including the war effort. If ever a series was mismatched with a cause, this was one of them. Politics should have never crept into the storylines, but they did, to the detriment of the series as a whole. These “rally ‘round the flag” episodes are excruciatingly hard to watch.

But, if you want to see what happened to the Gang as the series progressed, this set is an absolute must, to say the least.

I wholeheartedly recommend this set, and you can find out more about it at http://www.wbshop.com.

Rant #111: Capt. Lou Goes Down For the Count

Capt. Lou Albano died yesterday. He wasn’t really a captain, but if you watched professional wrestling in the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, you knew who Albano was—whether you liked him or not.

Albano was one of the most successful wrestling managers during this time period, managing everyone from Toru Tanaka to the Samoans. He was mainly a “bad” guy, and he knew how to get the audiences riled up with his totally rude behavior.

His look added to this illusion. Albano, with his pot belly sticking out of his Hawaiian shirt, with rubber bands sticking out of his hairy face and a head topped with unruly hair, well, he was a sight for the ages.

Albano was actually a pretty good athlete in his day, and a fair wrestler. But he really rose to the occasion as a wrestling manager, the guy who accompanies his charges to the ring, occasionally getting involved in the bout, and the guy who yelled as much as his attractions in the interviews that were used between matches to spike interest.

Although 95 percent of his career was spent as a bad guy, his last days with WWF—now WWE, and prior to all this, WWF and even earlier, WWWF—were spent as a good guy. He was paired with singer Cyndi Lauper in the 1990s melding of rock and roll and wrestling, which was incredibly successful, and helped to bring professional wrestling to the mainstream.

He was in several of Lauper’s videos—including a memorable one as her father in “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”—and he became something of a ubiquitous personality all over TV. Nobody would claim that Albano was an A-list star, but he was always in character, no matter what he did.

At 76, Albano lived a very full life.

And his passing once again signaled that another icon from my youth is gone.

Rant #110: "This Is ... Paul Anka"

The ongoing saga of Michael Jackson continues, and this time, Paul Anka has somehow gotten into the mix.

It seems that Jackson’s posthumous single, “This Is It,” is actually a collaboration from more than a quarter century ago between the so-called “King of Pop” and the singer/songwriter who had many, many hits of his own including “Put Your Head On My Shoulder” and "Diana."

Word leaked out about the song, and Anka’s lawyers evidently got busy when they heard that the song was actually recorded in 1983 for a planned Anka duets album. One thing or another happened, and the song was not released at that time, but was later released under a different title by a singer known as Sa-Fire.

Anka has publicly stated that nothing untoward happened between his and Jackson’s camps, it is just that they needed to be reminded that he collaborated with Jackson on the song, and should be credited as such.

I guess he can feel confident in saying that, since Anka will now receive 50 percent of all the profits made off the song, which is also the centerpiece of the new Michael Jackson concert film, “This Is It,” which will premier soon.

Some might say that Anka has more than enough money. He’s been a hitmaker and popular performer for more than 50 years, and his “Tonight Show” theme was heard for decades on Johnny Carson’s late night talkfest.

Funny, that song was originally written for and recorded by--under a different title--Annette Funicello!

Also funny about this whole thing is that Anka has been known to (legally) cop other people’s songs himself. Anka’s “My Way” is the English version of a French song “Comme D’Habitude.” Anka wrote the English lyrics, but is often mistakenly credited with writing the entire song.

However, the real story is that Anka heard the song, thought it was an awful song but liked it enough to pursue it, flew to Paris to negotiate the rights to it, and the rest is history—it has been recorded by everyone from Frank Sinatra to Elvis Presley to Sid Vicious.

So now, I guess everyone is happy. Anka gets proper credit, the Jackson camp doesn’t have to go through any legal haggling, and the world can hear this “new” Jackson song.

Now that that is settled, maybe we are one step closer to finding out if Jackson’s doctor should be arrested for “killing” the pop singer. I mean, we want to find out the "truth," and we don’t want activist Dick Gregory to starve himself to death much longer, do we (Ranting and Raving, July 30, 2009)?

Rant #109: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

Baseball remains king during October, with the Divisional Series featuring all kinds of excitement, even though they also featured three sweeps of four series, with the fourth series being won in four games.

The Cardinals, a team which many picked as favorites to represent the National League in the World Series, fell hard to the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodgers’ three-game sweep was highlighted by a botched fly ball by Matt Holliday which doomed the Cardinals in game two. The Redbirds could not get back in the saddle at home in game three, and the Dodgers were victorious.

The Red Sox lost to the Angels, and the series went only three games because the Angels were able to pull out game three on the road at Fenway Park. Jonathan Papplebon--the Red Sox’s usually reliable closer—gave up a few hits when the Angels were down to their last strike, and the Red Sox could not recover.

The Yankees swept the Twins, and two of the three games were nip and tuck the entire way. In Saturday’s game, a horrendous call by the umpire down the left field line may have doomed the Twins, but by placing at least one runner in every inning of the 12-inning game, the Twins blew it themselves by not executing during crucial moments. And Alex Rodriguez turned around his past playoff performance with three big games. (And I thank you, Kate Hudson. Whatever you are doing for A-Rod, please keep it going.)

Only the Phillies-Rockies series was not determined in three games. Bad calls marred Sunday’s game, as did a snowstorm which postponed Saturday’s game. Yesterday's game featured a big comeback by the Phillies.

I just love this wall-to-wall baseball, and I loved the earlier starting times for the Yankees games. I am sure that that will change when they face the Angels on the West Coast.

But if you love baseball like I do, you had to love this past week. I just couldn’t get enough of it, and how can football compare to this?

It can't.

As a Yankees fan, I look forward to this Friday, as the Yankees try to beat the Angels and move to the World Series, which, due to a late starting date, will most likely be decided in November.

Rant #108: Nobel Choice?

I am sure that you heard that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. I don’t know if this was a surprise to him—by all accounts, it was—but it was certainly a surprise to many Americans, and not just to those who don’t like him.

What has he done in his nine months in office to deserve such a prestigious honor?

Well, to be honest about it, it is hard to tell. He and his administration inherited many problems from their predecessors, the Bush administration. He has set out to make our government more efficient, but many of the problems that the previous administration had he has too.

He still has us fighting wars in faraway lands, with little or no end in sight. Unemployment is incredibly high, and many people have rallied against him in his health care initiatives.

Then why did he receive this award?

As far as I can tell, the granting of this award to our President has nothing to do with this being a consolation prize to losing out on the Olympics. It has more to do with the international perception of him as something of a “game changer” than anything else.

He has incredible popularity abroad, because he is perceived as someone who will change his office to be more receptive to global concerns rather than simply U.S. concerns.

He has already taken stands in the Middle East—basically putting his fist down and telling the many sides of that puzzle to get things done—and he has done this very early in his Presidency. I think many around the world like this stance because they feel that the U.S. constantly backs Israel in this process. I believe that there are many in this world who would like to see Israel go away, and they perceive that Obama is pro-Palestinian and pro-Arab based on his reaching out to the Muslim community.

And you can't have a better middle name than Hussein, can you?

He seems to be a “green” President as a positive, meaning that he seems to be pro-environment. I think many have viewed previous administrations as anti-environment, although we have the strictest anti-smoking laws in the world in the U.S. Many outside of the U.S. don't consider smoking an environmental problem, they don't even consider it a problem.

And, they absolutely love his wife.

And, let's be honest about it, they detested George Bush.

That, in a nutshell, is why he received this prize. The perception is greater than the output, at least right now, and with the prize in hand, I believe that those who voted to give it to him — probably a voting board that is made up of pretty much anti-American, anti-Israel left-wingers — want him to continue walking on this path, and they feel this will encourage him to do so.

Otherwise, in my mind, the giving of this prize to our President--while it is a prestigious prize--is pretty much a joke. I mean, he was only in office a few days when he was nominated, so what could he have done in just a few days and what has he done during his term in office?

And has this award had any relevance since Yassar Arafat won the award?

And I repeat, they just adore Obama's wife.