Rant #1,161: Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is my mother's birthday.

She is 83 years young today.

I cannot believe that she is that age.

She has the get up and go that puts others to shame. With her inner resilience, you would swear that she is about a third of her real age.

Yes, she puts younger people to shame.

She is the matriarch of our family, and she pushes the patriarch, my father, to do things.

If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't do much of anything, other than work a few days a week.

He likes to sit and watch TV.

My mother cannot sit still.

And that has been the secret of their marriage of 58 years; opposites attract, they really do.

My mother is about eight and a half months older than my father. My father always says he married an older woman. I followed in his footsteps--my wife has me by about five and a half months--and it worked for him, and it worked for me.

Anyway, back to my mother ...

In grade school, she studied my spelling words with me so I would do well in my spelling tests.

In high school, she studied Spanish with me every day so I would do well on my Spanish regents.

In college, she studied various subjects with me, some of which she really didn't understand, so I would get my bachelor's degree.

In graduate school, she studied Shakespeare with me so I would get my master's degree.

She helped me along from day one in areas that you couldn't ever imagine.

She did things I didn't understand, too.

When I was a little kid, she had me take off much of my clothes in the hallway, because I was so full of dirt from playing outside that she didn't want any of it in the apartment.

She made me take off my shoes before I entered the apartment, too, all the time. And had my friends do it, yet.

She used to get angry when I would slam the door, which I still do.

She washed my mouth out with soap when kids taught me filthy language, and I said something raunchy to her (I was too young to even understand what I was saying).

And when she screams "Lawrence!," I still cringe to this day. I know I am in lots of trouble.

But all in all, she has been not only my mother, but to me, the best mom that this guy could have ever had.

Thanks mom. I hope I turned out OK.

Happy birthday, and many, many more.