Rant #1,089: ARod A'Leaving

Fallen New York Yankees baseball star Alex Rodriguez bolted out of his performance enhancing drugs arbitration hearing yesterday.

He called the entire process, which he had previously backed, a "farce," disagreeing with the ruling that MLB Commissioner Bud Selig did not have to testify at these hearings.

On a radio show yesterday, Rodriguez further labeled the process as a "witch hunt" and he took on  Selig in the process.

ARod said something to the effect that, "Selig is retiring, and he wants my head in his trophy case" or something to that effect.

ARod is both right and wrong in his assertions.

He did use PEDs. He has admitted to using them early in his career.

Of course, he is not on trial for those past deeds, but for possible more recent use of these drugs, which he reportedly obtained from the closed Biogenesis anti-aging clinic, which has since closed down.

He was one of several players cited. Those players took their medicine, so to speak--suspensions--and have since moved on.

ARod has always denied his involvement in this, and has fought since day one to have his name unsullied.

The way I look at it, he has made his bed, and now he has to lay--or lie--in it.

And because of that, he is correct.

These hearings have become something of a witch hunt, but since he is the only one being judged, what more--or less--could it actually be?

MLB has come up with some nefarious ways to gain information, from some smarmy individuals, and this has come out at these hearings, if you want to believe everything you read.

The heat got too hot for ARod yesterday, and he left the hearing in disgust.

Many people are on ARod's side, saying he is being persecuted because he is Hispanic, because the Yankees want to get out of his enormous contract, because baseball wants to be rid of this cancer ASAP, because yes, Selig is retiring.

My take is that the 211-game suspension that they foisted on ARod in the first place was ridiculous in its length.

MLB has gone to extreme means to present evidence against him, and ARod, on the other hand, has gone to extreme means to exonerate himself.

Because of this, they are butting heads like two stubborn billy goats.

When the hearings conclude, and an arbitrator makes his decision, I think you will find that ARod will have been found to have used PEDs from this clinic, but there is no way that he is going to get such a suspension.

He might get 50 games, he might get a little more, and he might get less.

Or he won't get anything at all.

And if that happens, it will set a precedent, and other players will fight like cats and dogs when they are found to have used PEDs.

Look, athletes have been using "stuff" since the late 1960s to better prepare them for game. If you need any evidence of that, simply read Jim Bouton's classic "Ball Four," and you will read that even in 1968, players were using uppers to get ready for contests.

Of course, this has morphed into drugs that supposedly enhance your skills, and dozens of players have been found guilty of using them.

ARod is one of them. And he probably used them recently, just likes many other of his peers.

He was one that was caught.

And suffice it to say that if he doesn't get his way, he will further this process by bringing it to a federal court.

Let's hope this does not happen.

He should get a fair penalty, but he should get a suspension, no doubt about it.

Whether it is what MLB wants--or what ARod thinks is fair, for that matter--awaits the baseball world.

Normally over the winter, I would be most interested in trades and waiting for pitchers and catchers to report to spring training in Florida and Arizona in February.

I still am interested in that, but this situation has to trump all of that.

Until it is over, baseball is sort of in chaos, a tumult brought on by one player who wants to clear his name, even if it is as dirty as one of his old baseball uniforms.

We'll see what happens. Even non-baseball fans should be interested in the decision that will be made probably next month.

A holiday present for fans? Not really, but at least it will close the book on one of the most nefarious episodes in professional sports history.

Or will it?

Rant #1,088: Horror Scope

I don't normally look at my horoscope, but today I did just that.

Here is what it had to say:

"It's still not a good time for entering agreements or trying to get anywhere with job searches. You are much better off staying home and working on your issues there -- if that's possible."

Heck, I would love to stay home and "work on my issues"--but on the other hand, I want to get paid for working on "issues," so I have to go to work.

It is funny how horoscopes are supposed to directly mirror what is going on in your life, but they never really do.

I don't have any agreements pending, and I am not looking for a new job.

I've been at my current place of work for 17 and a half years, I am 56 years old, so who else is going to hire me anyway?

I don't know what the horoscope means by "issues," other than the fact that at work, we are trying to put together our December issue of the magazine I am associate editor for.

And as for staying home, as I said, I would love to do just that!

But it doesn't put food on the table.

I remember that during the days of Johnny Carson, Merv Griffin and the like, they used to have on, on occasion, a psychic or a horoscope person, who supposedly would be able to predict the future.

I remember one in particular, Joyce Jillson, a willowy, very pretty blond with a great body who had failed as an actress (she was in this film called "Superchick," I mean, that should tell you all you need to know) and had moved on to doing stuff like this.

And she was very successful at it, having a syndicated column seen by millions of people every day.

She would tell us basically what we wanted to hear about the future, and I guess that is all she was supposed to do.

But I always thought that if she could accurately predict what was going to happen, why didn't she win the lottery?

Yes, Merv and Johnny are both gone, as is Jillson, and it is all a bunch of nonsense.

I think I will do exactly what my horoscope says for me not to do and see how it plays out. 

What have I got to lose?

And if everything goes awry, then I can say that my horoscope was accurate, and I will become a believer!

No, on second thought, I will just go with the flow today.

I don't need anything to disrupt my life, especially right before the holidays come around.

Joyce Jillson, R.I.P.

You have been gone for some time now, I didn't believe a word you said, but at least you were nice to look at when you were here.

And that was more important than a horoscope to this Taurean, any day of the week.

Rant #1,087: Chutzpah!

The word "chutzpah" is a Yiddish word meaning nerve, but really having a lot of nerve, and guts to do something outlandish to express your displeasure.

It often provides one with a sliver of revenge, too.

Well, I think I found our "Chutzpah Man of the Year' for 2013.

A man in Bloomfield Hills, Mich., upset at his ex-wife and her boyfriend, bought the house right next to where they are living, which is chutzpah itself.

But what he did beyond that really is Chutzpah personified.

In addition to purchasing the house, he also installed a statue, which his next door neighbors can clearly see, that is of a fist with an upraised middle finger.

I guess he believes he can taunt his ex-wife and her paramour by not only being next door, but having this statue in plain sight of them.

First of all, I guess this is a fantasy of any divorced person, especially early on in their divorce, to get back at the other side.

Heck, I wanted to do that too when it happened to me, but honestly, at least with me, it didn't last very long, I moved on with my life, and moved on for the better.

But some people not only want to get back at their ex-spouse, they want to make a clear statement, and that is what this guy did in a very novel way.

I know that in my neighborhood, such a statue wouldn't last for very long.

It is portraying something vulgar, so it would have to come down quickly.

I don't know how long this statue will last in that community, but yes, the man made a major statement.

Longer lasting though, will the guy be able to get along with his neighbors? Will his ex-wife and her boyfriend be able to get along with him?

I mean, they live right next door to each other, statue or no statue.

Thank goodness my ex and my family are separated by some miles in distance.

I think to this day, that is a better situation for both of us, even though we have been divorced for well more than 20 years.

But in the case I spoke about, chutzpah is chutzpah, the guy did what he had to do, and he probably feels really good about it.

Good for him.

Chutzpah is nice when it works.

Rant #1,086: The Attack of the Bobble Heads

No, that is not the name of a new low-budget horror movie that will make millions at the box office.

But lately, bobble heads have infiltrated my life.

Well, sort of.

For the holidays, I bought two sets of bobble heads to give as presents.

You know what bobble heads are.

They are those dollish-type figures that have a head perched on the top that wobbles.

They have been around forever, but in the last couple of years, with computer technology being what it is, they have really been making a presence, because for the first time, they actually look like the person they are portraying.

Remember bobble heads in the 1960s? That is the first time that I ever saw these things. People would put them in their cars, and the first bobble heads I ever remember seeing were the New York Mets bobble heads that came out around 1965 or so.

I lived in Queens, New York, at the time, and lots of people had these things in their cars to represent what their favorite team was.

They always had cherubic, almost child-like faces on them, as if they were plastic, wobbling angels.

And yes, I remember the Jesus bobble heads that also came out around the same time.

Again, these had cherubic, almost child-like faces, too, but at least they had beards and long hair, too.

But you could get away with a Jesus bobble head that looked like an angel, for obvious reasons.

I cannot find a picture of one of these, but I do remember them.

Now, years later, bobble heads made a comeback in the early 2000s. It seemed that you could make a bobble head out of everybody, and you could even make them of yourselves if you wanted to pay a premium price for one.

They kind of faded, but all of a sudden, they are back, and better than ever.

I bought two sets for the holidays. One is of Judy Garland as Dorothy of the "Wizard of Oz."

And darn it, it looks just like Garland did during that time period.'

That one I bought for my wife on her birthday. It was kind of a fun present along with her coat and some other things I got her.

The second was for a friend.

I bought two bobble heads of the Monkees, Peter Tork and Mike Nesmith.

These came out during the first resurgence of bobble heads in the early 2000s. I personally have had these in my collection since then, and they are in my son's room. He had a whole collection of bobble heads, ranging from "Rocky"--yes, the Sylvester Stallone character--to "The Munsters"--sorry, no Marilyn in that bunch.

But anyway, I know my friend will like this, and yes, those bobble heads are becoming rarer to find, so I just got him two, as they are also becoming quite pricey.

Now I read that the Los Angeles Dodgers will be honoring someone with their own bobble head night during the 2014 baseball season.

Who are they honoring? Maybe Jackie Robinson, perhaps Sandy Koufax, how about Walter Alston, maybe even manager Don Mattingly?

No.

They are honoring Babe Ruth!

The Babe, who was best known for his heroics, and classic eating and other appetites, with mainly the New York Yankees but also the Boston Red Sox, was a coach for the Dodgers for one, single, solitary year in the 1940s.

He desired to manage, but never got the chance, and reportedly, he wasn't even the greatest coach in the world, not being given signals to relay as a third base coach, which is usually that position's job.

Anyway, the Dodgers will be saluting him with his own bobble head night.

That is like the Miami Marlins giving out bobble heads for Mike Piazza, or the Orlando Magic in the NBA giving out bobble heads for Patrick Ewing.

Anyway, they will have their night, and I bet that that bobble head will immediately go on Ebay and fetch a fortune.

Bobble heads, weeble, they wobble, but they don't fall down.

And they also make people money, which is guess if the real reason they exist.

Now, what about a bobble head for me?

Nah, it costs too much and I do fall down on occasion, so I guess I wouldn't qualify.

Rant #1,085: Of Godmothers and Godfathers ...

Heck, I thought that yesterday's post would get me in trouble with people who can't understand how I don't like chicken, but it was something else that apparently rankled the Facebook populace when I put up the daily notification of my blog for all to see.

I have godparents.

I am Jewish.

Evidently, to some, those two things do not mix.

I had no idea that they wouldn't, don't, or aren't supposed to mix.

But some Jews and non-Jews are bewildered by this, and further bewildered that being born in the 1950s, in particular, that I had godparents bestowed on me.

It is my understanding that godparents are an entirely ceremonial title in the Jewish community.

The title of godparent really means very little, basically being used to ensure the continued "Jewishness"or Jewish education of the child if due to some unforeseen occurrence, the actual parents cannot raise the child.

The godfather, in particular, may have a special place at the bris--yes, the "cutting" ceremony--but even that is disputed by some.

I am pretty sure that my uncle and aunt on my father's side of the family are my godparents.

Thank goodness that I never had to have them utilize their "godparents" title, and certainly now, at my age of 56, their possible godparent days are long gone.

I am the godfather of one of my nephews, and he is in his 20s, so he doesn't need me, either.

Some think that the godparents thing is very Christian, and not a Jewish thing at all.

And way before we, as a society, seemingly had a homogenization of the religions like we do today to an extent, way back in 1957, I was given godparents by my parents.

This rankles some, but to me, it is such a minor facet of my existence that I only brought it up to tell you about things you probably did not know about me.

Yes, my daughter has godparents--two women from two different families, if I remember correctly--heaven help us all!

My son has godparents too.

Godparents have as much influence on the rearing of their godchildren as Popeye had in the rearing of his nephews Pipeye, Poopeye and little Popeye, and there really is nothing more to say about the matter.

I guess there would be a story here if Marlon Brando had been my real godfather, but that was not meant to be.

Maybe he would have left me a horse's head in his will if he was my real godfather.

No, on second thought, that would not have been a good thing.

Read more about this subject here: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/ask_the_expert/at/Ask_the_Expert_Godparents.shtml

Rant #1,084: A Dozen Things That You Did Not Know About Me

I will admit right at the get go that I got this idea from some posts on Facebook that I have read, and have liked.

Evidently, there is a small wave of posts going around listing facts about the people you have "friended" that you didn't know about.

Not that you know every little tidbit about every person that you "friend," but it is interesting what I have been reading about these people.

So I decided to extend this little game over here.

Since I have been doing this blog, my regular blog visitors have gotten to know me a bit, but you can't possibly know everything about me.

So here are 12 things that you did not know about me, with explanations where applicable:

1) According to my mother, I was born about two weeks after my actual due date: I guess I liked where I was and didn't want to leave.

2) My paternal grandfather and my father had a Kosher butcher store on Delancey Street in Manhattan, but there were no plans for me to continue running that store when I became an adult: Mayor Lindsay planned to put a highway through the store, and it closed around 1966 after many years in business. The highway was never built, and the empty lot stands today.

3) I was the first child of my parents, first grandchild of my grandparents, the first in my family to go to college, the first to graduate, not the first to marry (my sister was), but the first to divorce, and the first to remarry (very happily): Someone has to be the first, and I was it.

4) I went to high school with the likes of Jerry Seinfeld, Brian Setzer, Jessica Hahn, Joey Buttafuoco, and several other people who became notable as adults: I didn't know any of them very well, but I did walk the same halls as they did at Massapequa High School. And Alec Baldwin's dad was my driver's ed teacher. Six degrees of separation ...

5) My aunt Suzanne, who went under the name Suzanne Parrish, was an actress, and appeared on the night time soap "The Doctors." My cousin, Dr. Donnica Moore, is on TV all the time, giving medical advice on a number of shows: Six degrees of separation again, although I am quite friendly with my aunt, who I see several times each year. She is a remarkable woman, been through a lot but is strong as can be in her own way. I don't really know my cousin, only to say that she is my cousin.

6) I am the father of two, a boy and a girl, and I am the godparent of one: It's my sister's middle boy, who is a good kid who is finding his way in school right now. He was a wrestler in high school, and I had visions of him becoming the next big star in the WWE, but alas, he was injured and it ain't gonna happen. My kids are just normal kids who are growing up real fast.

7) I am 5 feet, 9 inches in height. I was barely 5 feet during my bar mitzvah, but right after having my big day in May 1970, I grew to my current height and never grew another inch in stature: I remember that during June of that year, my mother had to rush out to buy clothes for me, as I had sprouted up so quickly that I didn't have anything in my wardrobe that I could wear.

8) I met my wife through a dating service: Yes, before all the Internet dating services, there was your standard boy meets girl services, and after my first marriage, I felt I needed some help in finding the right girl, and I joined something called Together. After a few dates that they set up, where the girls were nice but I didn't really see anything happening, they paired me with the girl who eventually became my wife. Funny, I worked around the corner from her for a while, and never met her or saw her. Funny how things work out.

9) I was supposed to be in a movie,  a contestant on a TV game show and on a reality show, but never was in any of these things: Many years ago, as a teenage, I was one of many people who won a contest to be in the remake of "King Kong." I was supposed to be in the crowd scene by the World Trade Center, and one of the extras to crowd around the felled big ape. My parents were away on vacation, and since the shooting was overnight, my grandmother, who was watching my sister and I when my parents were away, refused to let me go. Some years later, I took a test to be a contestant on the then brand new Travel Channel's game show "The Travel Game." The show was canceled after just a few episodes--maybe like five of them--and I never got my chance to show my travel expertise. And very recently, I was supposed to be the subject of a show produced by Marlo Thomas of "That Girl" fame. The show was about conquering fears, and I have a fear of riding roller coasters. Anyway, the kibosh was put on that one when Hurricane Sandy struck, and I haven't heard from her production company in a year, so I assume the show is dead.

10) I hate chicken: My father was what they called "a chicken butcher" way back when, and since my grandfather was also part of the business, I have chicken in my blood, but I have always hated chicken. I don't like the smell or the taste, no matter how it is prepared. Everyone in my family loves chicken, so I am like the black sheep ... err, chicken of my clan.

11) I am the only person, reportedly, to have been present in Yankee Stadium to see both Mickey Mantle's 500th homerun and Alex Rodriguez's 500th homerun: I was there in 1967, and then years later when ARod hit his homer. I got coverage from Newsday, but I think it has been pulled offline because it happened several years ago. But several other national newspapers picked up the story, and I was a celebrity for my 15 minutes.

12) I can spin a basketball on my finger and I can make noises by clasping my hands together: As a kid, I was sick with one thing or another, got bored, and taught myself to spin a basketball on my finger. Also, as a kid, I discovered that I could make these noises with my hands, which came in handy as a kid, but not so much now. I can't do either as well as I did them way back when, but every once in a while, I can whip each of these talents out and amaze people with them.

There are probably many other facts that I could tell you, but these are the 12 that came to mind.

I hope you enjoyed this little peak into my world, but as they say, eight is enough, 10 is too much and 11 and 12 ... well, just be happy I didn't make extend this even further.

Rant #1,083: "Ups and Downs"

We all go through ups and downs during our lifetime.

Some years are good, some are bad, and some are in between.

And that brings me to this song that I have in my record collection, from a band that has for years received undeserved status as a corporate tool of the burgeoning rock and roll scene in the 1960s.

Paul Revere and the Raiders were a hit-making machine during that decade, but they actually started out in the late 1950s as a Northwestern boogie woogie rock band.

Their first hit, "Like Long Hair," is the epitome of what they were doing then, a tune that owed as much to Jerry Lee Lewis as it did to Elvis, Little Richard and Chuck Berry, the guys who were putting this new music on the map, with all others riding their coattails.

Dick Clark, who had his pulse on this scene as host of the then-Philadelphia based "American Bandstand," saw all the trends, and his show rode each and every one.

Things had gotten stale musically in the early 1960s. Yes, there were great songs and artists during the era, but the time was right for something even newer to take over the scene.

Enter the Beatles.

Once the Beatles hit, music changed forever, as did styles, and Clark saw what was happening right on his very show.

The Bobby Vintons and Freddie Cannons, although still popular, were being replaced by long-haired groups that had a different sound than what was happening just a year earlier.

Clark wanted to tap into that even beyond what he was doing on "Bandstand," and that, in a nutshell, was what helped him create "Where the Action Is," a Monday-Friday showcase for what was new in rock and roll.

Steve Alaimo--a talented singer, but one who kind of teetered between the Avalon-type crooner and a new rocker--was the original host, but even on the first few episodes, it was clear who the real stars of the show were.

Paul Revere and the Raiders, with their Revolutionary War get-up and charismatic lead singer Mark Lindsay, stole that show from under Alaimo, and Clark knew he had something by featuring them over his original choice for host.

And he did.

For the length of that series, they were not only the "house band," but the stars of the show, and they became huge stars on the recording scene, with many hits during that period, including "Kicks," "Hungry," and "Good Thing."

Their popularity on the show most certainly paved the way for the creation of The Monkees, as constant time on TV hit it off with younger viewers, who wanted everything that they heard on "Action." That scheme was certainly used in the creation of the Pre-Fab Four.

By 1967, the five day a week grind was showing, and "Where the Action Is" would soon fade from view, but the Raiders continued to have hits.

"Ups and Downs" was one of them.

Although a pretty minor hit at the time, only reaching #22 on the Hot 100, it was typical of the Raiders' output at that time: catchy, with a great hook, and great lead vocal by Lindsay.

The Raiders had so many hits at that time that they were able to have a "Greatest Hits" album, and the song was included on the compilation just as it was fading from view.

And yes, I do think that people like Jann Wenner, soon to be publisher of Rolling Stone magazine, looked at the Raiders, and later the Monkees, as corporate creations, two acts that allowed bigger corporations to get into the rock and roll game, robbing the music of its spontaneity.

And I think he still thinks that way today.

Anyway, when the show went off, and "Ups and Downs" trailed into the sunset, Clark still saw huge potential in the Raiders, and they starred in his "Bandstand" companion "Happening" shows for a few years, which aired on Saturday afternoon just after "Bandstand"--now in California--ended.

The hits kept on coming, including "Him or Me, What's It Gonna Be" and "Let Me," but the Raiders--that was their shortened name then--hit it the biggest in 1971, without Clark, with "Indian Reservation."

They pretty much faded from view by the mid 1970s, although Paul Revere has continued with the Raiders as a popular show band and Lindsay, who had his own solo career highlighted by "Arizona," has pursued an interesting solo recording/performing career.

But back to "Ups and Downs"--I always liked the song, and even though it was high on the charts, you never hear it on oldies radio.

It's a shame, because although minor, it is a really good song.

Listen to it, and let me know what you think.