Rant #1,210: Two For the Price of One

I remember that as a kid, growing up in Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, New York, I used to go up and down the baseball schedule of both the Yankees and Mets and see when the doubleheaders were scheduled.

They were usually slotted on holidays, like Memorial Day and the Fourth of July, and my friends and I used to partake of one or two of these double dips each year.

With new ballparks, inflated salaries and the fact that every gate is important, the traditional doubleheader pretty much as faded from view in current times.

Now, when the schedule forces teams to play two games in one day, it is usually a split doubleheader, with one game during the day and another in the evening.

And a split doubleheader means two independent admissions. People have to pay twice to see both games.

This is fleecing the customer; everyone knows it, but no one says anything about it.

Yesterday was a revelation at Yankee Stadium, harkening back to my childhood, and while I did not attend the real, honest to goodness doubleheader that they had there yesterday, I did watch it on television, and it was fun, even though the Yankees split the doubleheader with the Pirates.

Evidently, the Yankees and Pirates both have an off day today, but the Pirates refused to schedule Friday night's rainout as a Monday makeup game.

Since the Pirates only visit the Stadium once this season--this is an interleague series--the Yankees were forced to schedule an old-fashioned doubleheader yesterday so that the game could be made up.

I remember one particular doubleheader I went to.

The Yankees were playing their arch-rival Red Sox, and somehow, my friends and I got tickets all the way down at old Yankee Stadium, down the left field line.

Red Sox pitcher Tom House--who later would get notoriety as the guy who caught Hank Aaron's 715th home run in the bullpen when Aaron broke Babe Ruth's homerun record--was giving autographs right in our area, so I went down to get one.

A lot of kids were there, and he seemed to be giving autographs only to girls. I said this to him, and he uttered something really nasty to me. I don't remember if it was with curses, or just something nasty, but I said to him something in the effect of, "You won't give me an autograph? When you come into the game today, you are going to get your head handed to you," or something like that.

The first game was tied, and it was either the ninth or the 10th inning, I don't remember, but House came in, and promptly gave up the game winning homerun to Graig Nettles.

There were many, many other doubleheaders I attended as a kid, and while not as memorable as that one, they were all fun, I can tell you that.

Baseball, which we all know is a multi-billion-dollar business, should step back and look at itself.

In a game which is deep in nostalgia, it should have each team play one traditional doubleheader a year.

It would be really nice, and would be a great way to say to the fans, "Thank you," for standing by this game during thick and thin.

Wouldn't it be nice? Sure would be, and yes, this was talked about yesterday on the Yankees game.

Let's see if MLB picks up on this.

Somehow, I doubt it.

Sorry, Ernie Banks, we won't play two today.

Rant #1,209: Looking Back, Looking Ahead

This will be the final post on my car accident, unless something happens that I feel is worth noting here.

Yes, you can stand up and applaud.

I will join you.

Of everything that has happened in my life, this is probably the most earth shattering.

To think I was one step away from you know what has really put a damper on a lot of things, and has shined a light on others.

And to think that my family was in the car with me ... God was looking down on us last Saturday.

Today, my insurance adjuster will look at the car, assess the damage, and make his report.

The other insurance company has already done this.

I am not going to get back very much money for my trouble, even though the other driver is 100 percent liable.

It has to do with the fact that the market value of a 2008 Kia is very low, so I will probably get back a few thousand dollars, and have to start all over with financing a new car--and yes, after this incident, I will be getting a new car.

At least I will have a nice down payment to give them, but after all is said and done, yes, I am the classic victim getting screwed here.

It is quite obvious.

I went from having a car, having no payments for the past year since I paid the thing off, and now I have no car, and the prospects of another bill in my headlights.

Not fair, not fair at all, but what am I gonna do?

That is the way insurance works.

Look, the moment you take a car off the lot after purchasing it, it depreciates.

You keep a car six years--and six very good years--the car is considered old.

Most people today get new cars every two years or so, so mine was three times that length.

The car never gave me a problem. Sure, I had to sink in some money to repair the brakes, get new tires, and for regular maintenance, but as far as anything else, it was my dream car.

And now I have nothing.

No, wait a minute, I do have something.

I have my life, and the lives of my family.

The car protected me up to its end.

I will probably see the car today for the final time, as I release the title to the adjuster.

It will be like seeing an old friend off into the sunset, and yes, I will probably take some photos.

I don't know if I will bore you by posting them here, but I did promise that this will be the final column on my accident.

At least for now.

I have to move on, and I will, and this column has helped me do that, by talking about what happened.

But it has been a slow week for news anyway--I don't think you have any interest in me talking about Donald Sterling again, or the Beyonce/Jay Z/Beyonce's sister flap--so the accident it was this week.

Accidents will happen, and accidents produce victims.

I am just that, but onward and upward now.

I will be getting a new car in a few weeks, and I guess that is what I have to look forward to.

And just be happy that I am able to work--this has been the longest work week of my life--and be alive.

Let's move on. I will speak to you again next week.

Rant #1,208: The Ballad of the Kia

(Sung to the theme to the "Gilligan's Island" theme song)

Just sit right back
And you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this Island town
Aboard this sedan car.
The mate was the most beautiful girl in the world
The driver brave and sure,
Three people set sail that day
For an afternoon drive
An afternoon drive
A car came out of nowhere
The sedan car was tossed
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Kia would be lost
The Kia would be lost
The car set ground on the side of the road
In the middle of this Island town
With Larry
His wife Elena
Their son
And no one else
Here on Long's Isle.

Again, bear with me, I am getting through this, and writing something like this is almost therapy for me. 

Rant #1,207: Life Goes On

I have found that it is pretty hard to do much of anything now where I am not thinking about the horrific accident I had over the weekend.

I know this will pass, but you are going to have to bear with me for a few more days.

Yesterday was another day of constant phone calls, and last night, I went to the doctor.

I have been having off and on headaches since the crash, and I haven't quite felt like myself.

The doctor told me that I have something akin to post traumatic stress syndrome.

Evidently, my body, having been through great trauma, is slowly trying to get itself back to normal.

I expended a lot of adrenalin during this episode, and the body can take some time to return to normal.

And that includes my head, and my brain.

The headaches are simply a signal that this process is progressing, a simple sign that my head is getting back in shape.

He told me that if the headaches get worse, I should let him know, because then, it is something else.

Onto other things, I really feel uncomfortable driving the car that I was given as a loaner.

It is a sports car, and it just isn't me.

I have to put some gas in the car today, not that much because I only plan to drive this through Friday, when I am going to return the car.

I will drive my mom's car next week if I have to, an old Hyundai that looks like who did it and ran. It has a non-working radio, but if I have to drive it, I will.

Anyway, on the car I have now, I noticed that the gas tank does not have a cap. That is how it was designed.

I did a little research on it, and yes, it was supposed to come without a cap, to make ease of use while pumping even easier.

Huh? No gas cap making things easier? Have we come to that in today's society, where the extra couple of movements to put back your gas cap after you pump up is considered negligible?

Get me another car, please!

By Friday, both adjusters--one from my insurance company, the other from the guy who hit me's company--will have seen my old car.

The first adjuster--the one from the other company--has already listed the car as totaled, as he called me yesterday with the news. I am simply waiting for my guy to go over and check it out.

I was told, evidently before I was supposed to know, according to someone with the other insurance company, that they have assumed full liability. I won't get into the whys and wherefores, but someone there did not seem to be too happy that I already knew this.

Tough tomatoes.

Now I await my check, from which I will buy another car.

I can't wait, and honestly, I can't wait until I can move on from this thing and talk about other stuff.

Right now, I simply can't do it.

Sorry.

Rant #1,206: It's a Laugh

I promise, I am not going to talk ad nauseum about my car accident.

But yesterday ended up being a very, very busy day, and I can find humor in almost anything, even in this incident.

Just let me start off by saying that yesterday, I had to answer so many calls from insurance companies and others that I really do feel like a victim, because even if you are in the right, as I was, the way things are set up, you are almost harassed by the many questions that you have to answer, constantly, over the period of a day because of the severity of the accident.

I did most of this at work, which made it really difficult to get any work done.

Also, I still do not feel like myself, and I have scheduled a doctor's appointment for myself tonight.

Anyway, for the humor ...

I go to get the rental car, and I simply ask them for the cheapest car that they have.

The cheapest one is a Ford Mustang, a sports car that would have been wonderful if I was 25 and looking to pick up girls, but as a 57 year old married father of two, people probably think I am going through some type of mid-life crisis by driving this car.

It can go 169 mph if I wanted to, but honestly, I doubt I will go 55 with this thing.

When I was at the hospital, they bring me in to a room and make sure I am comfortable. Mind you, I am still stretched out on a gurney, completely immobilized, but they ask me how I am doing, and nothing really hurt--I did have a slight scrape on my leg, but that was pretty much it, at least at the time--so I was feeling OK, I guess.

All of a sudden, a female--I guess a nurse--is taking off my shoes, then my socks, then my pants.

I think I yelled out, "What is going on?" or something like that, and the woman says that I am being prepared I think for a CAT scan.

I tell her that I have my wallet in my pocket, and I think I said to her, " ... and I expect to find that wallet right where it is when I come back."

I do remember that when I was rolled back, and told that I was fine and that I could get dressed, I did go into my wallet and counted my money.

Also in the hospital, I needed a security guard to escort me to where my wife and son were being checked out.

The guard said he liked my jacket. The jacket was a present from my wife, a Knicks jacket, and I have gotten a lot of response from a lot of people about this jacket.

Anyway, the guard says to me, "I shouldn't like that jacket, but I do."

I ask him why, and he says that his cousin played for the Knicks, and that his cousin did not have a good time playing for them.

"Who is your cousin," I asked.

He said Stephon Marbury.

If you are a basketball fan, you know the story of Marbury, and ultra-talented basketball player who seemed to be always on the outs. His reputation always preceded him wherever he played, and it probably led to the fact that his career was cut short not by his talent, but by his bad reputation.

It was serendipity, I thought, that I met this guy.

I told him to get a job at the Barclay's Center, where the Nets play--yes, Marbury once played for them, too--and by that time, we had located by family, so the conversation ended.

I know, these aren't laugh out loud funnies, but they make me smile, so at this point, I will take what I can get.

The one most annoying thing is that I am unable to get the police report. The local police have farmed out this part of their routine to an outside source, and not only do I have to wait to get this made available to me, I am going to have to pay for it, too.

After getting different responses from different police officers about how to obtain this necessary item, I finally was led to the right place, but I am not too happy about it.

I am almost killed in a car accident that I did not cause, yet I have to pay for the full report of this accident?

The humanity of it all!

Anyway, I am still alive, and my family is still alive, to laugh at all of this nonsense.

It is going to take a few weeks, but our lives will be put back together once I get a check in the mail from the other insurance company and I am able to buy a new car.

This is not the way I recommend to buy a new car, but it is, unfortunately, the way I am going to have to do this.

So let me at least enjoy driving my femalepickupmobile for this week, and I will let you know how things turn out when they do.

Rant #1,205: Happy To Be Alive

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day.

I had a great day, too, but it was preceded by perhaps the worst day of my life.

The only good thing was that it could have been worse.

My family and I were driving along a major thoroughfare in our town on Saturday afternoon, going north on this main street, which is mainly residential where we were driving.

It was raining, and I had my lights and wipers on.

We were driving so that my son could fill out a job application at one of the local hardware stores. We got a tip that the place was hiring, so we were en route there.

Driving along, I hear my wife scream out, "Watch out!"

A car coming from one of the connecting side streets hit our car flush on the driver's side. The other car was going so fast, and the impact was so great, that it tumbled my car over on its roof, and we skidded to a halt on the side of the road.

Somehow, my wife got out of the car amidst the car turned upside down with glass all over the place. An ambulance and police came almost immediately, and they helped my son out of the car. He was hysterical and shouting, his adrenaline at full tilt, to the point where a fireman literally had to take him down.

But I was still in the car, upside down, still attached to the car in my seat by my seat belt. The EMTs, police and firemen tried to get me out of the car, but when I got my bearings, I was able to free myself from the seat. I moved over to the passenger door, and they put me on a stretcher and immobilized my head and body.

Evidently what happened is that the person in the other car, a kid of 24 or so, came right from the connecting street, never stopping at the stop sign on the street, and barreled into us, never seeing us until he hit us.

My family and I were taken to the local medical center, and except for some bruises, cuts and scrapes, we are OK. My wife's hand is pretty ripped up, but no broken bones. My son is OK, and I came through it pretty well. My neck hurts, and I have a bump on my forehead.

Now comes the hard part. I spoke to my insurance company, and they are going after the kid's insurance company for damages, which I should receive, less a deductable that I have on my policy.

I have no car. It was totaled, and it was towed to a local shop.

An adjuster has to look at the damage, rate its level--totaled, hopefully, because the car cannot be repaired--make his report, and then present it to the insurance company.

I also have to get the actual accident report from my local police precinct.

I get a rental car, and then pretty much wait to get a check in the mail.

I live in a no-fault state, so we are both right in this instance, and we are both wrong--there is no guilt ... and that is even though the other party is 1,000 percent at fault here.

But, of course, I am the one who is going to get ripped apart by this, as my insurance rates will go up, and I have to buy another car.

Ironically, another accident happened on Saturday very nearby to what happened to us, where another car flipped over. The people in that car weren't as lucky as we were, as four local high school students died in that crash.

Yes, we were very, very lucky.

First off, I should not complain. My family and I are alive. When I was hanging upside down, my son thought I was dead. My wife said to me that she thought that perhaps I had a broken back or other internal injuries.

Happily, I was shaken, but not stirred, and neither were they.

I want to thank the witnesses who called the accident into 911, the EMTs, the police, the firemen, and the doctors and nurses at the hospital for taking care of us during this ordeal.

And I thank my wife and son for their perseverance during this ordeal.

I thank God for allowing us to come out of this pretty much unscathed.

I thank my daughter. Even though she was not with us, when she was born in 1988, nearly 26 years ago, I began wearing my seat belt. Fun time was over, and as a new dad, I decided that I had to set the tone, and I have worn my seat belt ever since, because of her presence.

If it was not for that seat belt, I would be dead, and if not for their seat belts, my family would be gone, too.

And, of course, I thank my parents, family and friends for standing my us.

And for the kid who did this to us, he and his family were in the hospital room opposite ours, and all the mother did was stare in at me, and I stared back at her. I wish she would have simply said, "We are sorry," but I guess I should not have expected that.

If she would have said that, I would have simply said, "These things happen. Let's let the insurance companies handle it."

But all she did was stare, and all she got back from me was a stare back.

They didn't even deserve that.

Rant #1,204: Six Mothers

First off, today is the 44th anniversary of my bar mitzvah.

It doesn't seem possible, but all the way back in 1970, I became a man, at least by the laws of the Jewish religion.

It seems like a lifetime ago, and in fact, it was.

Next, this weekend is Mother's Day, the second holiest day of the year next to Father's Day, of course.

My family plans a big celebration. We are having a load of family over to our house, and we will be having a Chinese food feast. It should be fun.

Three of the mothers I am going to tell you about will be there, and are alive and well.

Three, sadly, won't be there, but they will certainly be there in spirit and remembered for who they were and the influence that they had on me and the rest of our family.

And in describing each one of these women, I am talking about the wonder of motherhood, and how, let's face it, if it weren't for moms, none of us would be here, figuratively, literally, or otherwise.

My maternal grandmother was a great woman who was a constant presence in my life until the day she died. Even though we lived many miles away--especially when we moved to Long Island--my grandmother was always there for me, always around, and if she taught me one thing, it was to stand up for your rights, to open up your mouth when necessary, and to speak your mind.

She loved to dance, but had a literally great fall, and could not dance again. My grandfather passed away, and she did not have a companion. But that never stopped her. She would hobble, barely be able to walk, but she seemed to live for my sister and I. Even in her dying days, we seemed to come first.

She was really a great grandmother, and I miss my Grandma Betty to this day.

My paternal grandmother brought the "old world" into my life. She wasn't born in this country, and she came here under interesting circumstances. One could say that she lived a hard life from the day she was born. As a child, she somehow was raised in a monastery, where they tried to convert her away from Judaism. She refused, because she knew what she was.

When she was older, she came to America, somehow met up with my grandfather, and they settled down together to live a new life in America, start their own business, and raise a family. But she never settled down, really. My grandfather, from what I understand, could be a brute in many ways, and my grandmother often suffered at his hands. But to me, as a grandmother, she always had a smile that would light up a room. No matter what was bothering her, when my sister and I came into the room, nothing else seemed to matter.

She made us No. 1, and to her dying days, she never forgot that she was our grandmother. And yes, I miss my Grandma Harriet, too.

My mom is the perfect mother and grandmother. I don't know any other way to say it. She is always there for all of us. She never wavers, and while I don't always agree with everything my mother does, she is undoubtedly the best mother I could have. I am a lucky guy.

She is there in times of pain and stress, and in times of celebration. I look up to my mother for inspiration, and I get that and more from her, and from my father, for that matter. They are both now in their 80s, but they run around so much that they put people a third of their age to shame.

Where would I be without my mother? Nowhere, simply nowhere.

My sister has learned well from our mother. She is the proverbial "supermom,:" who is a wife, has a career, and watches over her three sons like a hawk. I can tell you that from my standpoint, she can make you crazy, but she absolutely adores her children, sometimes to a fault.

I think my sister learned well from not only my mother, but our grandmothers, too. She worries about her brood, and will stand up for them when necessary. She will also take a stand when necessary, too, and that sometimes irks us, but let me tell you, she generally knows what she is doing.

My wife is undoubtedly the most important woman in my life. She is my companion, friend, wife and the mother of my son. To me, she is most beautiful woman in the world, and when I tell her that, I really do mean it. I have to say that every day that we have been together, I consider myself the luckiest man alive. She is so important to me in so many ways that it is hard to quantify them all here. Like my sister, she is the proverbial "supermom," doing so many things at once that she seems to be in constant motion.

She dotes after our son, and will stand up for him when necessary, but she will also let him know how she feels when it is necessary. I am sure she gets a lot of her spunk from her own mother, who is deceased. But wherever it comes from, it is there, and I really love her for it, and I think in the end, my son appreciates it, too.

So there is my profile of the five major women in my life, both past, present and future. My wife's mom died right after we were married, and she had been ill for some time. I never really got to know her well, but from what little contact I did have with her, she seemed to be a real loving person and a great mom too.

That is one of my regrets, that I never really got to know her. But my son and I have gotten to know her through my wife and her two brothers, who always talk about her in a positive way, as they should. They loved their mom, and through the stories, my son and I do too.

Happy Mother's Day to all, and I will speak to you again on Monday.