Rant #486: Do the Matzoh!

Tonight is the first night of Passover. Jews around the world begin celebrating the holiday, having seders with their families and friends.

The holiday signifies the plight that Jews endured thousands of years ago while in Egypt, as well as their passage out of that land.

The main symbol of the holiday, at least to me, is matzoh.

Matzoh is unleavened bread, and signifies the rush that Jews were in to get out of Egypt and to the promised land.

They baked bread while on their passage, but due to this rush, they did not have time to let the bread rise.

Thus, matzoh was created.

Matzoh, for those who don't know, is a cracker-like food that is shaped in sort of a board.

You can have regular matzoh or egg matzoh, but it must be Kosher for Passover, or Jews that follow the holiday can't eat it during the next eight days.

So no onion matzoh, no sesame matzoh, no everything matzoh during this holiday for observant Jews like me.

I love matzoh, probably too much. I can probably eat half a box at a single sitting, which is not good for my stomach.

Matzoh is good with butter, but it is better with cream cheese. Slobber it on, take a taste, and you will know what I mean.

During the holiday, some people cook it with eggs, and you have matzoh brye.

Me, I just like it with cream cheese or butter.

And for lunch, it goes really well with tuna fish.

During the seder, a matzoh is hidden for the children to find. If they do, they get a prize.

Usually, the head of the household puts it in a wrapping and sits on it, and that is where the children find it.

I wouldn't eat it after it has been sat on.

We also used to play a game "Find the Crack," where a matzoh is split in two and you have to find the crack, or where the two pieces join.

Take it from me, it is not as easy as it appears to be, not with the natural cracks and crevices of matzoh.

So, if you are Jewish, have a happy Passover.

If not, I thank you for hearing me out, and have a wonderful and joyous Easter.

Me, I'll be eating matzoh for the next eight days ...

And "Matzoh Stomach" is sure to be the result.